Para Bellum
by Teriyaki Chicken
Summary: Full Metal Panic. Sequel to The Sinister Game. Chapter Nine. As both factions bide their time, preparing for the final struggle, Sousuke questions himself and his ability to fight.
1. Chapter One: The Rabbit Hole

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Panic. This is a parody.

Chapter One: The Rabbit Hole

As Sousuke sat in traffic, his cell phone began ringing. Kaname had given it to him for his birthday. It was small and the full color screen took up about half the device. It had digital photo capabilities as well and, although he had tinkered with them a few times, thinking that it might prove useful for espionage work, he ultimately found the camera to be too complicated and completely ignored it from then on.

He fumbled for the phone in his pocket and extracted it, keeping one hand on the wheel at all times. A flashing box on the screen informed him that he had an "Incoming Text Message."

Sousuke found this a bit odd. Only four people called him regularly: Melissa, Kaname, Tessa and Kurtz. It was a Friday after school, so Tessa would be busy with student council and Kaname would be practicing with the softball team. Sousuke was supposed to pick her up when practice ended but that wouldn't be for at least another two hours. It was certainly possible that practice was cancelled but highly unlikely, as he had seen the coach right before he left Jindai. Sousuke had also spoken with Melissa and Kurtz before leaving so it was unlikely that they would feel the need to talk to him again all of a sudden.

Now, it certainly could be Tessa, Kurtz, Kaname or Melissa but why would they send a text message? Speaking would be much quicker and efficient.

Finally, seeing no other alternative, Sousuke accepted the text message.

The message scrolled across the screen in English:

the truth shall set u free

"That's odd," Sousuke said to himself. Someone in another car honked and Sousuke accelerated, getting to a different spot in the unmoving line of traffic.

After some serious thought, Sousuke typed his reply.

what?

A new message appeared almost instantly.

c vis pacem para bellum

Sousuke had to think about that one. Then he remembered what the phrase meant: "If you want peace, prepare for war." He typed his second reply.

who r u?

There was a long pause in between messages. Then…

sagara

yamato

Licking his lips, Sousuke clicked in his third reply.

what do u want?

"Sagara Yamato"'s reply came without delay.

go 2 the shintaikkyo dojo in roppongi

come alone

Sousuke typed out "why?" but a window came up immediately, reporting that "Requested user is not available."

He had two hours before he had to pick up Kaname, Sousuke decided. That was more than enough time to get to Roppongi and back again.

~

After the whole incident with Mithril and Rome, Sousuke began to adjust to civilian life. One of the first things he did was take all the money he had been saving out of the Swiss bank account and buy, among other things, a car. It was a bit difficult to get, him being so young, but after driving all manner of assault vehicles and piloting several of the most deadly machines ever created, Sousuke had no trouble passing his tests.

Now, he had become the unofficial chariot of his friends. That was why Kaname had gotten him a cell phone. So they could call him where ever he was to get a ride. It wasn't like he had anything better to do.

Shortly after returning to Jindai, Sousuke and Kaname announced that they were dating. This was no surprise to anyone at all. In fact, most of their classmates already assumed that they were dating or, at the very least, were "friends with benefits." Because, why else would he put up with her?

There was an almost empty lot next to the dojo. Sousuke pulled in and parked. On the other side of the lot, near the building, a group of five teenagers were huddled around something.

Sousuke went around to the trunk of his car and popped it open. Inside, he kept a large, military style box for "special occasions." He opened it and selected a Glock 26 handgun. Part of being a civilian was not carrying a weapon everywhere he went. And Sousuke abided by this for the most part. However, he liked being prepared.

After concealing the gun in his school jacket, he started to approach the teens. They seemed like your average, every day gangsters. All of them had their hair dyed and two were sporting Mohawks while a third only had bangs. They were dressed in ripped jeans and leather jackets with more chains on them than most Southern prisoners.

"I'm Sagara," Sousuke said, announcing himself. One of the boys looked up.

"Who the hell cares?"

"I was told to come here."

"Not by us you didn't," replied another without looking up. Sousuke peered closely at what they had situated themselves around: An uncensored American porno magazine.

"I was contacted by Yamato Sagara."

One of the Mohawk guys looked up at him. "The war hero?"

"I… I'm not sure."

"Whatever." Then he went back to the magazine.

Deciding that they would be no help, Sousuke approached the dojo. It was massively run down, as though it hadn't been touched for twenty years. It was boarded up and when Sousuke tried the door, it wouldn't open. Locked.

Glancing over to make sure the gangsters were still occupied, Sousuke drew his pistol and fired two rounds into the lock. Then, he delivered a swift, purposeful kick to the center of the door. It swung open.

The gangsters just stared at Sousuke. He glanced back at them and pointed the Glock in their general direction.

"You saw nothing."

"Sh-shit, man!" one of them yelled. They ran off, leaving the magazine lying open in the middle of the lot.

It was dark inside the dojo and Sousuke couldn't find any lights. The former sergeant, always prepared, drew a flashlight and looked around.

As far as dojos when, it was nothing special. Large and spacious, with a hard wooden floor and a sword rack in the corner. It appeared to be a kenjutsu institution but Sousuke couldn't be sure.

As he looked around, he saw something. A shattered picture frame, laying face down under the list of students. He knelt, turning it over. It was a picture of a woman, perhaps in her mid twenties, with long brown hair. She was smiling and cradling a small baby to her breast. 

When he saw the picture, Sousuke felt an incredible rush of emotions, like waves splashing against the shore. All at once, he felt a sense of nostalgia, warmth, longing and sadness. The feeling was so intense that he dropped the picture. When he picked it up again, he did so with a sense of fear and trepidation. As though he knew he were about to look upon something he didn't want to see but had to anyway.

Sousuke slipped the photo out of the frame and turned it over. On the back, in a woman's casual, yet strangely elegant handwriting was scrawled "24/7/86- Maria and Sousuke."

A feeling akin to discovering a hidden corpse swept through the young soldier. Slowly, he raised his eyes up. On the wall was the list of dojo students. And, above that, the assistant instructors. And above that, the school director. A single name was written in strong, purposeful looking characters.

Yamato Sagara.

And then, a horrible pain tore through Sousuke's head. It was like his skull was being cut open with a rusty saw. He squeezed his eyes closed and fell back, cradling his head in his hands. He gritted his teeth, biting his lip till blood ran down his chin.

Through his daze of confusion and pain, Sousuke felt a hand pat him firmly on the back. With each pat, the pain lessened.

"C'mon, lad, get a hold of yourself."

By the time the pain was gone, Sousuke was wasted. He forced himself to stand but fell back down, finally resigning himself to sit back on his knees while he regained his composure. 

"Are you alright there, boy?"

Standing there, in the dusty darkness of the old dojo before Sousuke was an old, very dignified, very gentlemanly looking fellow. His suit was wrinkled and worn and his hair was almost white and combed over. Yet, he projected an aura of kindliness and strength that almost immediately righted Sousuke.

It was Jindai's head Kendo coach, Ragasa Tomaya. Even though he was not on the Kendo team, Sousuke liked the man very much. He reminded him, in a way, of an officer he had known in Afghanistan. He was tough and firm when circumstances required it but, otherwise, he was a gentle and kind man. Moreover, he possessed the same kind of die-hard vigor and determination that Sousuke himself had and valued so highly.

"Sensei," Sousuke grunted, standing and bowing. Tomaya gave him the once over and tsked.

"What's a … like you doing out here?"

Tomaya had a very old and very thick accent that Sousuke had trouble understanding. He quickly made up an excuse.

"I was researching pre-war buildings for a school project," Sousuke said, clearing his throat nervously.

"Ahh," Tomaya said, smiling. He looked over the dojo, still smiling serenely. "There's a lot of history in this place, you know. I came to live in this neighborhood after the war… Many memories here… Not all good."

"Sir?"

Tomaya shook his head. "You're too young to remember but there was a radical far right wing terrorist group based out of here. Mostly officers and war criminals. They were broken up in a police raid in the late '80s, though and they all scattered. It made front page news."

"I see."

"But, young man, I bet you're not interested in old stories, are you?" Tomaya kept smiling. When he smiled, his smile ran from the corners of his eyes to his lips.

"No, sir, it's very interesting. I enjoy history." This was true. Sousuke did well in History Class. His encyclopedic knowledge of world conflicts helped him a great deal.

"I was an officer in the war too. But nothing of note ever happened to me. I was intelligence. All I did was translate enemy documents. Near the end of the war, I was captured and spent a month in a prison camp before returning to Japan. The camp wasn't even that bad. Because I spoke English well, the soldiers were kind to me."

"I see, sir."

Tomaya smiled and looked outside. "Like I said, I've known this dojo for awhile. When I saw the door opened, I wanted to see who was inside. I knew some of the fellows in this group. They tried to get me to join but I wasn't interested. I did what I had to during the war and it was over. Time to return to life. I remember hearing about a teacher in Spain who had been imprisoned by the Inquisition for six years. When he finally returned to classes, he resumed his lectures with 'As we were saying yesterday…' I guess it's hard for young people to understand things like this." Tomaya squatted and picked up the photo. He turned in over, still smiling and Sousuke stiffened. As if it were nothing at all, Tomaya folded the picture and pocketed it.

"Then again," he said, his soft words floating to Sousuke. "Perhaps you do." He turned and strode out of the dojo. As he left, he called out to Sousuke. "You'd better pick up Miss Kaname. I imagine she doesn't like to be kept waiting."

~

The world was holding together surprisingly well. Extremely well, considering that A.) The existence of a super secret paramilitary group funded by the UN was revealed, B.) Said group was trying to take over the world, C.) Several members of said group didn't much like that and took matters into their own hands, D.) Said matters involved blowing up the Vatican and, of course, E.) Leader of said group turned out to be the Pope.

And that doesn't even consider the corruption in the UN that allowed Mithril to gain power.

All in all, things had been held together quite well, considering everything. As long as everyone didn't tell twenty-first century society to go jump off a cliff and revert back to living in huts and running from the Mongols, it was to be considered a success.

Shortly after the incident, which also happened to claim the life of Geraldo Rivera, the world was in a state of chaos. Reports of possible civil wars in Russia, the US, India and all over Africa came in. These turned out to be exaggerations.

Russia, however, was taking it particularly hard. The Soviet Union, unstable to begin with, was upset further by this. Two months after the Vatican Incident, a civil war did indeed break out and, five weeks before Ragasa Tomaya found Sousuke in the dojo, the Soviet Union formally ceased to exist. Twenty or so factions claimed sovereignty over the empire, including several communist, socialist, democratic and at least two Muslim ones.

In the US, while there were no wars or revolutions, there were protests, especially when it came out that the military had been developing weapons along with Mithril. About half of congress resigned right there.

And then, there was the UN. There were massive protests and demonstrations in, literally, every nation against the United Nations. At the headquarters, there was an orgy of paper shredding. Finally, when they realized that they simply couldn't destroy documents fast enough, they lit fire to the building and made a run for it. It was just as well, because the rioters outside would've broke it down anyway.

Meanwhile, Tom Clancy had a heart attack as a result of glee, knowing he would have material until the day he died and then some.

~

It was already dark by the time Sousuke pulled up in front of Jindai. Kaname was sitting on the sidewalk, leaned against a lamp post, playing Tetris on her cell phone. She was still dressed in her softball uniform.

"The showers are broken so I couldn't change," she explained as she tossed her bag into the back seat and climbed into the front next. "So I'm sorry if I smell."

Sousuke nodded and grunted.

After they had been driving for a few minutes, Kaname cleared her throat. "Your place is closer so could we stop there so I can take a shower? I'll make you dinner."

"That's fine. I haven't eaten," Sousuke answered in his usual, totally mechanical tone. Kaname eyed him and went on.

"Are you alright?"

Seeming to jump slightly, Sousuke glanced at her. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You're really pale… And your eyes are bloodshot. And your hair…"

Sousuke took his eyes off the road for the briefest second to inspect himself in the rear view mirror. He did indeed look like a heroin addict. He hadn't fixed his hair after his spell at the dojo so it looked unusually shaggy and stuck up in spots.

Kaname reached out a hand and touched Sousuke's cheek. "You're warm… Are you okay to drive?"

"Fine," he grunted.

"Did something happen?"

"No."

He turned the next corner sharply, making the tires screech.

"Nothing happened. Everything is fine."

Why am I angry? Sousuke suddenly wondered to himself, as he noticed his knuckles were white, clutching the steering wheel. He forced himself to relax, drawing in one, two, three deep breaths. He sighed as they came to a stop in front of his apartment building.

"I'm fine, Chidori," he said, this time with confidence. This seemed to satisfy Kaname for she asked no further questions.

~

Inside his apartment, Kaname slipped off to the bathroom. When Sousuke heard the shower start, he booted up his computer, logged onto the Internet and pulled up a search engine. He entered "sagara yamato" as his search, spelling "sagara" the same way he spelled his own name.

Sousuke decided it was about time he investigate his family, so to speak. Although he had known about his father ever since joining Mithril, when Kalinin, of all people, informed him, he had never pursued the matter further, preferring to let sleeping dogs lie. But the day's events were troubling enough to warrant at least an internet search.

It was no surprise when more than five hundred results came up. As he looked over various sites and boards, it slowly dawned on Sousuke how big his father was. Certainly, he was well known; the vintage propaganda, portraying Yamato as the idealized Japanese soldier had seen to that. But he was revered, worshipped even, fifty years later, especially by right wing groups. He was a popular source of discussion on conservative bulletin boards:

Topic Title: Prayers for Sagara-taii

I'm taking my family to Yasukuni tomorrow. We're going to lay out a flag for my grandfather and my wife's grandparents. I want to take a bottle of sake for Sagara-taii. Will anyone else be there?

Re: Prayers for Sagara-taii

I'll be there. My grandfather served under Sagara-taii during the war and he asked me to place his officer's sword there for him.

It turned out that November 24th, Sagara Yamato's birthday, was a mini holiday for the most conservative Japanese.

Other sites were devoted to tales of Sagara's exploits during the war. They were mostly exaggerated pieces of patriotic garbage. Sousuke couldn't help but feel strangely surreal as he read war stories about his father.

A few less biased sites discussed Sagara's involvement in the war. There were several heavy debates over whether or not he was a war criminal.

Re: Nomonhan Campaign

There's proof placing Sagara at the time and place of the massacre. Since we already know that he had a low view of the Chinese, I think it's certain that he took part.

Re: Nomonhan Campaign

Any so-called "proof" comes from the liberals. Sagara-taii was fighting on the frontlines. Whether or not the massacre took place is another consideration but if it did, there was no way he was there.

One thread, however, caught Sousuke's eye:

Topic: Lunch with Tomaya Ragasa-shoi

As many of you know, I arranged to have lunch yesterday with Tomaya Ragasa-shoi, who served under Sagara-taii as his chief interpreter during the war years. I wanted to get information for the book I hope to write about Sagara-taii's life during the war.

Much to my disappointment, Tomaya-shoi spoke very badly about Sagara-taii, calling him a, and I quote… "violent, cruel man" and "a disgrace to Japan." He went on to inform me that, if I really wanted to write a book about Sagara-taii, it should be a criminal case against him.

Obviously, Tomaya-shoi is jealous of Sagara-taii's fame…

So, Tomaya had served under Sagara, Sousuke thought to himself. That would explain his having known about the dojo.

A sudden jolt passed through Sousuke. If Tomaya knew about the dojo and had served under Sagara, could he possibly know who his son was? Yet, since Tomaya obviously didn't like Sagara, why would he remain civil and, indeed, almost fatherly with his former captain's son?

In the distance, the shower stopped. Sousuke quickly book marked the sites and closed down the browser. Leaning back in his chair, he waited for Kaname to come out.

If Tomaya did know who Sousuke was, could he have been the one who text messaged him? But what purpose would that serve? If he had wanted to kill Sousuke, to erase Sagara's seed from the face of the earth, he had the chance during the young soldier's seizure. But he instead helped Sousuke.

"Hey, Sousuke…"

Jerked out of his thought, Sousuke tried to turn around in his chair but Kaname head his head still gently. She pressed herself up against the back of the chair slowly and Sousuke felt her warm flesh against his arms. A few drops of water dripped onto his neck and he felt Kaname's lips touch his cheek.

~

A light sheen of sweat covered both their bodies and they were still panting slight. Kaname's head lay on Sousuke's bare chest, her hair cascading over both of them like an auxiliary blanket. One of his hands rested on her shoulder and the other stroked the back of her neck.

"Sousuke…" Kaname whispered softly. She was half-awake and half-asleep. She nuzzled her face into Sousuke's chest, her breathing slowly becoming regular. Her pale skin almost glowed in the moonlight streaming in through the window.

The silence and the moonlit darkness served to quiet Sousuke's worries over his father and Tomaya. With Kaname by his side, Sousuke was truly calm and relaxed for the first time since receiving the text message.

Still, even as he lay there with his girlfriend sleeping next to him, Sousuke couldn't help but wonder if he was awakening sleeping ghosts… For a brief moment, as he took in the scope of his father's exploits and his own, as well as the questions in his head, the young soldier felt like Alice, tumbling down the rabbit hole…

End Chapter One

Author's Notes:

Hahahahaha, I said I would never write a sequel. I'm a lying bastard.

There're probably quite a few classical references in here but I can't remember them all. 

"-taii" is "Captain" and "-shoi" is "Liuetenant." Nomonhan was a campaign near Mongolia during Japan's war with China in the late '30s. For more information, read The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami.

Honestly, I'm not quite sure if I'll continue this. I'd like to but I get distracted easily.


	2. Chapter Two: Set Up

Disclaimer: I don't own Full Metal Panic. This is a parody. Acorporationwhowaivestheirrighttosuesayswhat.

Chapter Two: Set Up

Sousuke awoke to find his eyes totally covered by a mop of blue hair. He was confused for a second, wondering if he had fallen asleep underwater or something. Then, he realized there was a very large, very warm and surprisingly… soft… something… lying next to him.

With some trouble, the soldier found his hand and brushed Kaname's hair out of his face. She was sleeping soundly, a look of pure and unadulterated satisfaction on her face. 

"Chidori," Sousuke said, nudging her gently. Like a cat, she yawned and stretched, waking slowly. She looked up at him and smiled shyly.

"Hey," she said, little more than a whisper and then turned over to go back to sleep. Sousuke caught her by the shoulder, pulling her back.

"We have to go to school. Aren't the class representative elections today?"

He felt Kaname go stiff under his hand.

"Sousuke, what time is it?" she asked slowly, in a totally controlled manner. Sousuke glanced at the clock.

"7:45. Hmmm… I should've picked up Tessa by now…" 

Kaname let out a scream, leaping out of bed and taking most of the covers with her. She charged into the bathroom, yelling at him.

"We're late, you dumbass! School starts in fifteen minutes!"

Sousuke scratched his chin. "I must not have set the alarm."

"You didn't set the alarm?!" The shower turned on and Kaname's screams were muffled for about three minutes. Then, she came running out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her waist and one around her hair, still wet.

"Ugh, where're my clothes?! C'mon, hurry, go shower! Go-" Sousuke was just staring at her dumbfounded. Kaname stopped for a second and looked down. Her chest wasn't covered by either towel.

"Oh, damn it, don't pretend you haven't seen them before! Just go! Shower!"

~

After getting dressed and grabbing a box of Pocky for breakfast, the two teens actually ran down the hall, ran down the stairs and charged out the front door, diving into Sousuke's car.

And then they were off for Tessa's. It was 7:54. Kaname, sitting in the front passenger's seat, stuck her head out the window, letting the air rushing past her dry her hair. Sousuke drove much the same way one might fly a jet fighter: Very, very fast.

Tessa was waiting outside her apartment, checking her watch every few seconds and looking very upset. Suddenly, at 7:55, when she was about to give up and call a limo (because god knows she could afford it), there was a great commotion at the end of the street. When she leaned out to see what was wrong, she was grabbed by a speeding blue thing… and pulled inside the car.

"Where were you?" Tessa cried, on the verge of tears, as she tumbled into the backseat of the car.

"Long story, terrorists, Bonta-kun, Gackt, water main broke," Kaname said, her voice like a machinegun, before sticking her head back out the window.

And so, the trio sped on. Although it looked like a dark red 1989 Toyota Camry on the outside, Sousuke had made several special modifications to his car. It was the closest thing to a "Bond Car" possible. In addition to four 12.7mm machine guns, two missile launchers, a tear gas launcher, a flame thrower, a pop up 75mm cannon, an inner-skeleton made out of a kevlar/titanium compound AND a deluxe drink holder, it's engine was turbo charged. Made in Germany, it was specially designed for rich Autobahn drivers who consider 90 miles per hour amateurish and could reach speeds of 150 miles per hour without trouble.

By the time the car came to a rest in front of Jindai, it was smoking and the fender had turned bright red. In several spots, the paint had liquefied and was slowly dripping off the car.

The three teens had no time for Sousuke's car, which was slowly burning a whole in the asphalt. With comparable speed, they sprinted to their classroom.

~

"Aomoya?"

"Here."

"Asaka?"

"Here."

"Atsuya?"

"Here."

"Chidori?"

The door to class 4-2 burst open and three blurs spilled into, taking their seats. Several moments later, a great rush of wind came into the room, a final testament to their speed.

"Chidori?"

"H…Here…" Kaname said, raising her hand, panting.

The teacher for the year, Mr. Fujiwara, a very old and stooping man with glasses, peered over his list and her.

"Chitsuku?"

"Here."

~

"So, Sagara-san, who are you voting for?"

It was lunchtime and Sousuke was enjoying his pork bun. Because, out of all of his friends, Sousuke was easily the strongest, he would provide vanguard support for Kaname as they pushed their way to the front of the lunch line to get food for everyone. Kaname was required because she was good at yelling.

It was Tessa who posed the question. She was eating a vegetarian broccoli bun. She was also running for Class Representative.

"I think it's obvious," Kaname said, smiling smugly. She, too, was running for Class Rep. She was eating a beef bun.

"Oh, really?" Tessa said with faked ignorance, shooting a smile at Sousuke. "I don't know about you, Sagara-san, but I feel that regime changes are a natural part of the political system…"

"This isn't real politics," Kaname growled.

"…of any society." She smiled at Kaname. "Even a classroom."

"This is true," Sousuke said thoughtfully, finishing his bun. "However, if the society is prosperous under the current leader, than a certain amount of conservatism is healthy."

"Ha!" Kaname said in triumph.

"However," Sousuke continued. "Prosperity is a subjective thing."

"Ha!" Tessa returned.

"Those two have been going at it for the past week…" Kyouko sighed. She was eating a tuna bun. Almost involuntarily, she pulled her camera from her pocket and took a picture of Tessa and Kaname arguing.

"They're both so… cutthroat. I hope they never become politicians," said Shinji through bites of his spinach bun.

"Yeah… But Tessa can't win. Sousuke belongs to Kaname," commented Mizuki. She munched on a chicken bun.

"What makes you say that? Sure, he's under her thumb but…" said Shirai, trailing off into his shrimp bun.

"With all the errands he runs for her? She's either sleeping with him or blackmailing him…" Mizuki said, smirking.

"…and in Analects IV:5, Confucius says…" Kaname was saying, her Ancient Literature textbook out.

"What does Confucius have to do with anything? Can't you think for yourself?" rejoined Tessa.

"Japan is a Confucian Society!"

"…under Japanese rule."

"Who else would rule it? You?!"

Tessa just smiled sweetly. "Maybe."

And poor Sousuke was caught in the middle of it. The constant crossfire of political theory between his girlfriend and former commanding officer was quickly taking its toll on the young man. 

"Sagara, you don't look so well there," Mr. Fujiwara said, squinting through his glasses.

"It's nothing, sir…"

"No. I'm sending you to the nurse's office. I've not had a student faint on me in class and I'll keep that record."

"What about his vote?" Kaname and Tessa cried out in unison.

Sighing, Mr. Fujiwara pulled a ballot out of his desk drawer and beckoned Sousuke forward.

"Vote now and I'll put it in for you," he said, handing Sousuke the paper.

Feeling a bit lightheaded, Sousuke looked over the ballot. There were only two boxes: One for "Chidori Kaname" and another for "Theresa 'Tessa' Testarossa." The two girls stared at him intently as he contemplated the ballot.

Sousuke considered his options carefully. If he voted for Kaname, Tessa would cry. If he voted for Tessa, however, Chidori would hit him.

So, Sousuke did what anyone would do: He wrote "Bonta-kun" on the ballot and placed a check next to it.

"Done, sir," Sousuke said, handing it to Mr. Fujiwara before stumbling out of class. He walked to the Nurse's Office, figuring he would chat with Melissa for a few minutes before returning to class.

When he got there, a note was on the door: "Out for lunch. Be back at 1:00. – Mao." The message was followed by a smiley face.

Unperturbed, Sousuke went into the office and lay down on one of the beds, intending to wait out the rest of the election there.

Had he looked out the window just then, he would've seen a small fleet of black cars descending upon the school…

~

Jindai's principal was sitting at her desk, enjoying her lunch when the door to her office burst open. She looked up, surprised.

"I wasn't expecting any visitors…"

A tall, strongly built Asian man with a scarred face entered, flanked by a smaller, European man wearing a leather trench coat, looking very much like a WWII-movie Nazi and a teenage girl with red hair down to her shoulders, dressed in jeans and a T-Shirt.

"Good morning," the big man said, flashing her a strange grin.

"Who are you?"

The big man kept smiling and pulled out a gun, pointing it in her face. "I'd like to be principal for the day…"

~

Back in the classroom, the votes were being tallied.

"Alright…" Mr. Fujiwara said. "One for Chidori…"

A "Yes!" was heard.

"One for Testarossa…"

Another, slightly different "Yes!"

Before Mr. Fujiwara could count another ballot, however, there was a great boom and the classroom door flew off its hinges.

"Go! Go! Go! Go! Hands on your heads! Move! Everyone on the ground!"

A troop of men, dressed in black kevlar vests, carrying submachine guns shuffled into the room quickly, guns aimed and yelling. Predictably, several students screamed and covered their heads, several others got on the ground, screaming and a few others sat still in confusion.

"You! Old man! On the ground now!"

Mr. Fujiwara sighed, putting the ballot box down.

"What's the meaning of this?" he said, almost uninterested.

"Get down on the ground!"

"I'm an old man. I can't do that."

The one who was barking orders, the leader and a sergeant, looked confused for a few seconds. "Uhh… Then… Sit down."

Mr. Fujiwara sighed and complied.

"Now, what's going on? Was breaking the door really necessary?"

"No… No, I suppose not…"

"Would it have been too much trouble to knock?"

"Well…"

"Now, you'll have to pay for that door."

"I'm sorry, sir, I…" The Sergeant shook his head. "No! We're here for the classroom rep. We have orders to bring him or her to the principal's office."

Mr. Fujiwara sighed. "We're currently holding elections. If you'll wait a few minutes, I'll finish counting the ballots."

The Sergeant stared at Fujiwara for a moment before nodding dumbly.

"O…kay…"

"Now," Mr. Fujiwara began, "We have to begin all over." He put the two ballots back in the box but then pulled them out again.

"That's one for Chidori… One for Testarossa… One for… Bonta-kun? Hmm… Another for Bonta-kun… I see I have a class of jokesters this year. A third for Bonta-kun… Really not that funny."

A minute later, he was finished. "Now, that's one for Chidori, one for Testarossa and twenty three for Bonta-kun…" He sighed.

Kaname turned and looked at the class.

"What. The. Hell?!" she growled. Shinji stood up.

"I… I think I speak for all of us…" he began nervously, sweating and adjusting his glasses. "When I say that, if we voted for you, Tessa would cry. And if we voted for Tessa… You would hit us."

Mr. Fujiwara sighed and addressed the Sergeant. "I'm sorry but it seems as though we'll have to have a second election…"

The Sergeant muttered a curse and shook his head. "No, we'll just take the two candidates with us. Seize them!"

Two of the soldiers stepped forward to apprehend Kaname and Tessa. Mr. Fujiwara, sighing again, stepped out from behind his desk and grabbed one of them. He punched him in the gut and the soldier doubled over. Then, from where he was standing, he leapt over several desks, kicking the other soldier in the face. He too crumpled.

"Oh, that's right," Kyouko said suddenly, putting her finger to her chin. "Mr. Fujiwara is the karate coach.

"I'm sorry but I can't allow you to do that."

The Sergeant stared at him for a second before yelling. "Shoot him!"

The rest of the soldiers took aim and Mr. Fujiwara sighed heavily, taking off his glasses and cleaning them. "I'm an old man…"

"You just knocked two of my soldiers out!"

"I'm an old man… Are you really going to shoot an old man?"

Sergeant scowled. "Fine. We'll take you with us. But no karate!"

Three soldiers went forward to get Kaname, Tessa and Mr. Fujiwara.

"Wait," Mr. Fujiwara said, looking up. The soldier about to grab him jumped back in fear.

"I need to appoint a substitute for my next class."

"What? No!"

"Are you, sir," Mr. Fujiwara said, his glasses flashing. "Going to deny these children, Japan's future, an education?"

"Well… No…"

"Good. You'll be their substitute. You'll be teaching Geometry. The book is in the bottom drawer of my desk. We're on page 58."

"But…" Sergeant protested. "I'm not good at math."

"Well, you should have thought of that before, now shouldn't you have?"

And so, Mr. Fujiwara, Kaname and Tessa were led away. Sergeant got the book out and stared at it for a few seconds before looking at the class. He turned around and drew a triangle on the black board.

"This," he said, clearing his throat. "Is a triangle. Any questions?"

Author's Notes:

M'kay, that was a fun chapter, huh? A bit short but fun nonetheless.

Yes, the role call part was a slight spoof of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Superb film.


	3. Chapter Three: Cry Havoc

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Panic. This is a parody. Please do not sue me.

Chapter Three: Cry Havoc

At about twenty after one, Sousuke began to realize that something was wrong. Melissa had not yet returned to the nurse's office and, though afternoon classes should have begun, he did not hear the teachers going to their classrooms in the hall, nor did he hear any students returning from lunch.

At one time, maybe, Sousuke would've gotten worried about this. Now, though, he assumed that the clocks were off and lay back on one of the beds to wait for Melissa.

At one thirty, however, Sousuke felt himself getting a bit anxious. No matter, he thought. Perhaps there was an accident in gym class and Melissa was helping out.

Finally, at one forty-five, the door opened. However, Melissa did not enter. Ragasa Tomaya did.

"Sensei," Sousuke said quickly, standing up. Worry now filled him. Being alone in a room with an unhappy subordinate of his deceased father was not something he savored.

"I…" Sousuke started to explain himself but Tomaya raised his hand. The young soldier noticed a few things about the old man: First, he was not wearing a dress shirt under his jacket like he usually wore. Instead, he wore a military style tan uniform shirt. Secondly, his clothing bore the unmistakable smell of gunpowder.

"Sagara, we haven't the time. Something very, very serious is happening. I can not explain to you the sensitive details of the situation but it requires your special expertise."

Tomaya gave that last bit a moment to sink in before continuing.

"The school has been invaded by a small but well armed troop of soldiers."

"What?" Sousuke whispered, disbelieving.

"They've been taking the class representatives of each room hostage."

Sousuke nodded gravely. "Testarossa or Chidori…"

"Exactly. Currently, there are only three people in this school who I know have had military training. Myself, Mr. Fujiwara, your homeroom teacher and you."

"How did you-"

Tomaya smiled. "After you've been fighting long enough, you can recognize a fellow soldier, I suppose. When I first saw you, I thought maybe your parents were in the SDF or something along those lines. However, that is not quite the case, is it?"

Sousuke coughed uncomfortably, not saying anything.

"Anyway," Tomaya went on. "Fujiwara, it seems, was taken along with the hostages so they're safe for now. We served together during the war and I can vouch for his skills. However, that leaves you and I to secure the situation."

"What about Ku… Weber-sensei and Mao-sensei? They're both trained as well," Sousuke said, a bit hesitant.

"I wasn't able to find them. Hopefully, they escaped and can inform the police. Until back up arrives, we're the only ones who can do anything. Fortunately, they didn't think to secure the infirmary."

Sousuke nodded, his mind beginning to plan some sort of countermeasure. "I don't have my gun on me but if I could get to my car…"

"They have guards posted at the doors. But, we're not totally unarmed…"

Tomaya removed his jacket and Sousuke understood why he had smelled gunpowder. The old man had two pistol holsters, each holding a WWII-era Nambu 8mm handgun. Not only that: he had an old style officer's katana strapped to his belt. Tomaya drew one of the guns and flipped it around, handing it to Sousuke.

"There's only one magazine for each so we'll have to conserve ammunition till we can capture more weapons."

Sousuke nodded, cocking the gun and tucking it into the waist of his pants.

"What's our plan? Shall we attempt to free the hostages?"

Tomaya nodded. "They're being held in the principal's office. There's a phone in there so we can call for help once we take the room."

"Understood."

As Tomaya began to walk out of the room, Sousuke took a deep breath. When the old teacher glanced at him to see if something was wrong, the young soldier shook his head.

"I've missed this."

~

As the soldiers marched them to the principal's office, Mr. Fujiwara complained. He covered a wide range of subjects, from his wife's cooking, to his hemorrhoids, to Gackt. Although still slightly in awe after his display of martial prowess a few minutes prior, Tessa and Kaname were both looking forward to his shutting up.

When they finally reached the principal's office, Mr. Fujiwara was still complaining.

"…and he looks like a girl. In my day, men were men and girls were girls. He's skinny, too. Anorexic, no doubt. There's another thing. I don't understand this obsession with not eating… In my day, you ate as much as you could because you didn't know when your next meal was coming. But, then, we had good food. Not this over processed, sugary stuff… I can't even get a decent bowl of ramen in Tokyo anymore. I have to go to my cousin's farm in Hokkaido… My cousin, the poor old bastard, can barely stand. And his good-for-nothing children ignore him. Moved off the farm to become investment bankers. I was at the bank the other day…"

"In here," one of the soldiers grunted, opening the door and pushing the three inside, mostly glad to be away from the remarkably depressing old man.

As the door shut, Kaname and Tessa took in their new surroundings. The office was normal enough. Nice carpet, white walls, book cases, a desk, etc. Sitting at the desk, leaning back in the seat with her feet up on top of the desk itself, however, was a young girl in jeans, chewing gum. Her striking red hair hung down to her shoulders. It took Kaname a few seconds to realize who she was.

"You're the girl from Mithril's headquarters!" she said, pointing. Fatima smiled.

"Bingo."

She was, however, not the only one in the room. Looking out the window was a man dressed peculiarly in a long leather trench coat, looking very much like an SS officer. He turned around and smiled at them. He was, perhaps, thirty, and cut a remarkably nice figure for an officer. 

"Oh, god…" Tessa whispered, burying her face in her hands. 

"Good afternoon, Ms. Testarossa," the man said pleasantly, approaching them.

"That's Captain," Tessa growled, looking up at him.

"No, no, no… You see, as you are no longer part of Mithril, I am not obligated to call you by your former rank. Do you see how this works, darling?" the man said, smiling. On closer inspection, he was very greasy looking.

"Tessa," Kaname whispered. "Who is this guy?"

"Wolfram Lischen," she glanced at him. "Captain Lischen. He commanded another Mithril submarine. We graduated from the same academy, in the same class." Suddenly, she brightened. "But I was at the head of the class."

Wolfram laughed. "Well, someone has to graduate first, of course…"

"And," Tessa said, smiling sweetly. "Someone has to graduate LAST…"

Wolfram rolled his eyes. "Charming. However, I should inform you… I'm no longer a captain. I'm now an Admiral."

Tessa frowned. "How did that happen? Did you order an Admiral's badge over the internet?"

"You've been out of the loop for awhile, so let me catch you up…" Wolfram began. "You see, after you and you companions…" He nodded at Kaname. "…killed our Fearless Leader and destroyed Mithril's headquarters, we were a bit… Puzzled as to who should take over. Several groups were ready to follow you, but they had to go through several other groups first and, well, you know, survival of the fittest and all."

"So, basically, you killed off the competition?"

"More or less. After a few battles, the rest of the factions just gave up… You see, I managed to commandeer the _Sandalphon_."

Tessa paled noticeably. "I thought that was just a rumor…"

"Oh, no. It's quite real. I should know. I used it to wipe out an entire fleet in the Indian Ocean three weeks ago. Remarkably efficient weapon, if I do say so myself."

"What's a Sandalphon?" whispered Kaname.

Before Tessa could answer, the third and final occupant of the room supplied one.

"Sandalphon is the prophet Elijah, brought up to heaven and turned into the Angel of Glory by God."

Everyone turned. Leaning against the far wall, almost out of sight, was a tall, scarred Asian man. He was nicely dressed in a suit and tie, though the clothing seemed stretched awkwardly over his large frame. He smiled.

"Gauron," Kaname whispered.

~

The first soldier Tomaya and Sousuke encountered was patrolling the hallway. As they hid behind a corner, waiting for him to turn around, Sousuke couldn't help but be reminded of a game he had played at Kaname's house. It was called Metal Gear Solid. Sousuke had spent many hours playing it, so realistic had he found the game.

Sousuke was jerked out of his memory when Tomaya nudged him, gesturing with his pistol. The soldier turned and began marching down the hallway.

Rushing forward, Sousuke took aim and shot him once in the back of the knee. The soldier gave a strangled cry and twisted as he fell.

Since the gun was unable to pierce the kevlar vest he wore, Sousuke aimed at the soldier's side as he fell, firing two bullets into his lungs. Then, after delivering a strong kick to the man's injured side, Sousuke fired a final round into his head, finishing the job.

"Well done," Tomaya said, admiringly, as he came forth from his hiding spot.

Sousuke didn't answer. He knelt down and began to strip off the soldier's equipment. He put the kevlar vest on, almost untouched except for a few blood stains, and took the soldier's rifle, a Sig 550. He handed the soldier's pistol and ammo, an HK USP, to Tomaya who took them gladly over his old Nambu.

"Right then," Tomaya said, holstering his new pistol. "The principal's office is right down this hall. Let's hope they didn't hear the shots."

~

Gauron pushed off the wall, swaggering towards Kaname, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"In Greek, 'sandolphon' means brother… Hence, Sandolphon is the "brother" angel to Metatron, who is actually the prophet Enoch…"

Nobody said anything for a few moments.

Then, Mr. Fujiwara broke the silence.

"What's he talking about? I didn't understand half of what he said… Is he one of them… Whaddya' call 'em… Metrosexuals? No…"

Gauron laughed. "Of course, that's just Jewish lore. So, tell me, Ms. Chidori… How have you been since we last met?"

"Perfectly fine," Kaname said through gritted teeth. She took a few steps back and bumped into Mr. Fujiwara. Surprisingly, he placed his hands on her shoulders, holding her reassuringly.

"What do you want with us? Where are the other hostages?" Tessa asked quickly, changing the subject.

"You don't need to know the answer to the first question but the other hostages are being held in the gym."

"What do you mean we don't need to know the answer?" Tessa growled.

Wolfram fielded this question.

"He means that it is far too delicate an answer to explain here. Don't worry, you'll learn soon enough," he said, smiling serenely.

There was another awkward silence. Then…

"You know, Sousuke's going to kick your asses," Kaname said, having a bit more courage, knowing that Mr. Fujiwara was behind her. "Mark my words. Ten minutes from now, maybe an hour, even a few days… He'll kick your asses and win like he always does."

Gauron laughed. "I look forward to seeing Kashim again…"

"You seem very sure of yourselves…" Mr. Fujiwara said slowly. He walked around in front of Kaname, holding his hands behind him. "But, then, I would too, if it were my army versus a handful of unarmed civillians…"

Puffing out his chest, Wolfram growled. "What're you implying?"

"Nothing, nothing…" he said, smiling. One of the soldiers trained his submachinegun on Fujiwara and he laughed.

"Because a little old man is so dangerous…"

Just then, there was a knock at the door.

"Who's there?" Wolfram called out.

There was a silence. Then…

"Sergeant."

"Sergeant Who?"

"Sergeant… Morrison."

Wolfram glanced at Gauron. "Do we have a Sergeant Morrison?" Gauron shook his head.

"We don't have a Sergeatn Morrison!"

There was another brief silence.

"Pizza."

"Did anyone order a pizza?"

Gauron and Fatima shook their heads.

"We didn't order a pizza."

A few hurried whispers followed.

"Phone company," came the gruff reply.

Fatima leaned forward and picked up the phone on the desk, holding it to her ear. She looked up and around.

"There's a dial tone. Should I order a pizza?"

Wolfram sighed. "You two," he said, looking at Kaname and Tessa. "Back away from the door.

The two girls scurried away from the room's entrance and stood near their teacher. Except for Gauron and Wolfram, nobody seemed to know what was going on. The former drew his pistol and the latter ducked behind the desk.

Nothing happened for a few seconds.

Then the door exploded.

~

As the door fell off its hinges, Sousuke was ready with a follow up flash bang. He was treated to a brief vision of everyone in the room staring at him with the same kind of look one would have if one saw a door blow up.

Taking note of Kaname and Tessa's location in the room, Sousuke covered his eyes and tossed the flashbang. Tomaya did likewise. There was a great boom and a brilliant flash and then some smoke.

And then, Sousuke charged forward under Tomaya's cover fire. Without really looking where he was going, he grabbed Kaname and Tessa by the scruff of their school uniforms.

"'Afternoon, Kashim."

Sousuke looked up. Gauron grinned. Like a helpless rodent, transfixed by a King Cobra, the young soldier found himself unable to move. The splitting pain in his head returned when he peered into the abyss of Gauron's eyes…

And then, the moment was over. Fujiwara, who had recovered quickly from the flash, launched a lunging punch into Gauron's jaw. It was a bit strange to see, because Gauron was a good foot or so taller than Mr. Fujiwara.

Gauron was not knocked down but his head did make a jerky twist to the side. A trickle of blood came down from his nose. Carefully, he turned his head back its original position, his grin still present.

"You get those two out of here," Mr. Fujiwara said, cracking his knuckles and making an obscene snapping sound. "I'll take care of him."

Sousuke needed no further convincing. Making sure he had a good grip on Tessa and Kaname (both of whom were now conscious), he high tailed it out of the door, closely followed by Tomaya.

~

A few moments later, Sousuke, Tomaya, Tessa and Kaname collected themselves.

"Ow! Let go of my neck!" Kaname whined, shaking free of Sousuke. Tessa, on the other hand, latched onto him.

"Oh, Sagara-san, I was so frightened… I knew you would save me…"

"You weren't scared! You were chewing that guy out! Wolfram or whatever…"

Sousuke looked down at Tessa. "Captain Wolfram Lischen?"

"He's an Admiral now," Tessa replied, nuzzling her head into Sousuke's chest. Kaname grabbed her by her braid and pulled her off. She growled something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like "Mine!"

Tomaya cleared his throat, uncomfortably.

"We should be leaving," he said simply, gesturing towards the entrance. "We can alert the police… Hopefully, they haven't posted many guards."

"Hopefully," Sousuke said, nodding.

Without warning, the wall next to them burst apart. Mr. Fujiwara came flying through the rubble and slammed into the other wall. He caught himself and landed on his feet. He had several nasty cuts and bruises and his nose looked like it had seen better days.

Gauron came sauntering through the hole in the wall, still smiling.

"You put up a good fight," he said, a hint of admiration in his voice. "But not good enough!" He lunged, one giant fist coming towards Fujiwara's face. The little man blocked it and counterattacked, striking Gauron's stomach. The big man didn't even flinch and head butted Fujiwara, knocking him back. Then, he launched a low kick that sent the teacher to the ground.

Sousuke reacted before he could decide what to do. Reaching over to Tomaya's waist, he drew the older man's sword and flung it at Gauron's leg. Spinning through the air, the katana hit its target, slicing into Gauron's knee.

The big, scarred man gave out a strangled cry and dropped to one leg. He tried to stand up and failed, grimacing. He shot a dirty look at Sousuke but then, his glare transformed into a horrible, twisted grin.

"Well played, Kashim…" he purred. Forcing himself to stand with obvious difficulty, Gauron glanced down the hallway. A squad of heavily armed troops was racing towards them. He smiled and jogged-limped toward them. Once he passed them, he disappeared into another hallway.

"Damn," Tomaya muttered as he got down, pulling up his handgun. He blew away one of the soldiers easily and capped another one in the face.

"Captain," Fujiwara said. He had picked up the sword and got his hands on one of the old Nambu pistols. "You take the children and run. I'll buy you as much time as I can."

The two old men looked at each other very seriously for a moment. Then, Tomaya saluted.

"Understood, Liutenant."

"It has been an honor to serve with you, Captain."

"The honor is all mine, Sir. Go!"

Tomaya nodded to Sousuke, Tessa and Kaname. "You heard him! Let's go!"

Firing their weapons, they backed down the hallway. Fujiwara stood up, gun and sword in hand.

"Banzai!" he screamed, charging them. He got off one shot before dozens of rounds tore his old body to shreds. As blood splattered, he kept running, sword raised high. Even though he should have died, his corpse seemed possessed. As he met the soldiers, he drove the blade into the first one he could, shattering the kevlar armor and snapping the sword itself in the process. Finally, he slumped over against his dying opponent, dead.

"Oh my god…" Kaname whispered, looking back. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly and clung to Sousuke as they ran.

When they came to the doors, there was a single guard there. He was taken care of quickly and the quartet found themselves outside, free, finally.

"What now?" Sousuke said, looking around. Then, he spotted his car. "Ah." Then, he smiled. And the custom automakers thought he was paranoid…

~

Meanwhile, Wolfram and Fatima sat in the principal's office, still slightly disorientated from the flash and in a semi-state of shock from the events of the previous five minutes.

Wolfram coughed uncomfortably. "It seems we have underestimated our opponents."

"No shit, Sherlock."

End of Chapter Three

Author's Notes: Mmm… Bloody violence… More of that to come!

So, I saw the last episode of Gunslinger Girl. Goddamn, that is a fine show. And the last scene with Triela and Henrietta! So cute! You know there's some yuri H-doujin with those two somewhere… Hmm… 4chan probably has some.

Can't think of anything else to talk about… Hmm… Clapton is God… Hmm… I'm a pussy who watches The OC… Romance of the Three Kingdoms fanfiction would be really cool but incredibly strange and slightly creepy, possibly along the lines of Bible fanfiction.

That's about it! Until next time… Ciao!


	4. Chapter Four: Strangers in the Night

Disclaimer: Full Metal Panic and all related entities belong to Shouji Gatoh and GONZO, among others. This is a parody. Acorporationwhowaivestheirrighttosuesayswhat.

Chapter Four: Strangers in the Night

The oven dinged when Tessa's cookies were done. When she bent over and pulled them out, she couldn't help but feel a sense of warm relaxation wash over her.

After coming back to Tokyo, she had gotten in the habit of baking cookies whenever something upset her. When she got a bad test grade (which wasn't often), when she skinned her knee in PE, when she lost her favorite pen, when the stray cat she tried to adopt ran away, etc. She'd gotten very good at it. She was also developing into a bit of a drama queen.

Now, however, Tessa had something to be legitimately upset about. Her school had been taken over by terrorists. Her homeroom teacher had suicide charged them. The thought of Mr. Fujiwara's bloody and broken body suddenly made her want to get rid of the cookies.

After escaping from Jindai, Tessa, along with Sousuke, Kaname and the Kendo coach, one Tomaya Ragasa, got the hell out of Dodge, so to speak. They went to Kaname's apartment to rest and decide what to do next.

Sousuke's first idea was to go in, guns a-blazing and bring down some righteous punishment upon the terrorists. He was all ready to go, too. Just like girls will keep tampons in the medicine cabinets of their boyfriend's apartments, Sousuke kept assault rifles in Kaname's closet. Just in case.

However, he was persuaded not to by the rest of the group. Since Sousuke was no longer part of Mithril, he simply couldn't burst into buildings and shoot everything that moved anymore. Even if it was an anti-terrorist operation, he would be in trouble, at the very least, for possessing military grade weaponry in a country where hunting rifles are illegal. 

So, instead, he did what normal people would do and called the police. They sent a few teams of cops over to the building who were now engaged in a stand off with the former-Mithril soldiers.

But that wasn't enough. Sousuke knew very well that a few cops could not stand up to the disciplined elite of Mithril, much less Gauron himself. So, he called the American Embassy, to demand that the local military bases send over soldiers.

"Mr. Sagara…" the tired secretary at the embassy said. "We're very sorry but this is a domestic issue. The United States cannot interfere."

"This is not a domestic issue," Sousuke insisted. "It is an international one. These are international terrorists and-"

The secretary hung up. Scowling, Sousuke slammed the phone down on the receiver.

"No luck?" Tessa asked, setting the sheet of cookies down. Sousuke took one and munched on it, sighing.

"They don't seem to grasp the severity of the situation…" he muttered.

"Well, maybe things will turn out alright," said Kaname, sitting down on the other side of Sousuke. She sort of cuddled up to him a bit, giving Tessa a "stay away" glare. She responded by sidling up to Sousuke's other side.

"Aren't the cookies good?" Tessa gushed. Sousuke "hmm"-ed in response, still trying to decide what to do.

"If I could get in touch with Kurz and Melissa, perhaps… Or even Kalinin and Mardukas…"

"I put walnuts in them. You like walnuts, don't you?"

"I have some friends at the US Military bases in Okinawa… It might be a long shot but…"

"I was thinking of using peanuts but then I thought you might be allergic to peanuts, so…"

"Perhaps if we can convince Ren's father to act, the Yakuza families of Tokyo could mount an assault…"

"Sousuke!" Tessa finally yelled impatiently, pouting. He turned to her in frustration.

"What?"

"The cookies. Do you like them?"

"What cookies?" He looked down, realizing he had been talking through bites of walnut-chocolate chip cookies. "Oh. Yes. Very good…"

Tessa groaned and Kaname giggled triumphantly.

In the other room, Tomaya Ragasa was remaining very quiet, watching the stand off at Jindai on television. The old man was smoking and a growing cloud of smoke pooled above his head.

He was very intent on the situation and didn't look up when Sousuke entered, having decided to get out from "between a tiger and a panther", so to speak.

"Sensei," Sousuke said, alerting the other man to his presence as he sat down next to him. Tomaya grunted in response, his focus on the television remaining unbroken.

The news anchors weren't reporting anything of real importance. There was essentially a giant Mexican stand off going on: The police were too scared to storm the building and the Mithril troops seemed to feel no need to engage the forces outside.

Slowly, Sousuke realized that they had indeed caught Gauron off guard. He was obviously after Kaname and Tessa but since they were currently safe and sound, he was held in a position where he couldn't maneuver to capture what he wanted. 

"It's strange," Tomaya said finally. "What's Gauron waiting for?"

"Do you know him, Sensei?" Sousuke asked uncomfortably. Tomaya shrugged.

"We met briefly. But, why doesn't he make a move? What does he want?"

"Perhaps," Sousuke ventured. "The thing he desires is no longer within reach and he's planning a way to get it…"

Tomaya and the young man locked eyes.

"The girls," the old man whispered. Sousuke nodded.

In the kitchen, Tessa and Kaname bickered gaily.

~

Back at Jindai, Wolfram Lischen and Gauron were having disputes over their next course of action.

"I need one of those girls, damn it!" Wolfram yelled, waving his arms wildly and generally having a hissy fit. Gauron was sitting back in his chair, grinning.

"And you shall have them."

"But we can't get them while we're here. Why don't we leave, god damn it?! Blow the school up if we have to. This is what I hired you for."

"There is an old Japanese story," Gauron said, still smiling. He raised a single finger as he spoke. "Three war lords were sitting in a garden one evening and they saw a nightingale. They began to discuss how they would get it to sing. The first said that it was simple: If it did not sing, he would kill it. The second shook his head and said that, no, they must force it into a position where it must sing. And the third only smiled and said, 'Wait. Wait and it shall sing.'"

Wolfram stared at Gauron.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Ah, what doesn't it mean?"

"It doesn't help us with our problem, that's for sure."

Gauron shook his head, chuckling.

"How does a mouse trap work?" he asked. Wolfram shrugged.

"A mouse takes the piece of cheese and it's decapitated. What does that have to do with anything?"

"When the prey comes into reach, the trap springs. So must we."

Slumping his shoulders and sighing, Wolfram collapsed into a chair.

~

The lights of Tokyo glittered below Kalinin as he looked out over the city. Tokyo Tower had always been one of his favorite place to visit whenever he had the chance. Being so high up gave the old soldier the feeling of being "above" the world, like a spirit, not trapped by the confines of the flesh. Being so high up and looking down on the citizens of the city as they go about their nightly business made him feel, almost, in a way, like he was next to his wife. She had been dead 15 years that night.

Instead of a beautiful young concert violinist, however, an old British submarine captain stood next to him. Ah well, Kalinin thought sadly, remembering a Rolling Stones song from his youth: "You Can't Always Get What You Want."

"It's frightening to think that this all could be gone in a few days," Mardukas murmured. He took a cigarette from his pocket, lit it and offered one to Kalinin. He declined.

"True," Kalinin murmured back. He reached a hand into his pocket, feeling the cold steel of his Sig P226. He could very well be using it in a few hours.

"Well, gentlemen," said an unfamiliar voice. A third man joined the two. Much younger than Mardukas and Kalinin, he was perhaps thirty, Asian, with his hair slicked back with more grease than is found in most McDonalds deep fryers. "Are we ready?"

Kalinin flicked the safety on his pistol off. "Quite."

~

And so, night fell at Kaname's apartment. Tessa was assigned to the bed and Tomaya took a futon. There were two others laid out for Kaname and Sousuke but neither was filled.

As Tessa and Tomaya both slept, Souuke and Kaname sat up together. She had made tea for them and they sipped it in silence, sitting next to one another on the couch.

This was something they did often. Kaname cuddled herself up to Sousuke, resting her head on his neck and nuzzling him. She sighed softly. He had always thought it strange that, in public, Kaname was so tough and careful not to reveal too many of her emotions. In private, however, she was very affectionate, almost like a puppy.

Sousuke, on the other hand, was almost as aloof behind closed doors as he was outside. He resigned himself to stroking Kaname's hair. 

"Hey, Sousuke…" the girl said softly, glancing up at him.

"Hm?"

"Everyone at school will be alright… right?"

Without thinking, Sousuke nodded. "Of course.

Kaname smiled and closed her eyes. Before she fell asleep, she whispered something that Sousuke strained his ears to hear. He never got it.

End of Chapter Four

Author's Notes:

Ach, it's been awhile since I updated. And now, this is a short chapter. I'm sorry. .

Yeah, I've been busy. Sorry if there was anyone who's been waiting on the edge of their seats for this or anything.


	5. Chapter Five: The Path of the Righteous ...

Disclaimer: I don't own Full Metal Panic. This is a parody. Buy Kill Bill. Watch Gundam SEED. 

Chapter Five: The Path of the Righteous Man

When dawn came to Tokyo, the scene it saw was similar to the one it had left a few hours before. The standoff between the police and the Mithril remnants continued, they hostages in limbo. 

In Kaname's apartment, Sagara Sousuke was sound asleep on a couch, his girlfriend resting in his arms. He was very comfortable and very reluctant to wake up when he heard a rapping on the door.

But then, his instincts kicked in. With the utmost care, Sousuke extracted himself from Kaname's arms and stood. He drew his Glock and approached the door carefully. When the floor creaked, he flinched.

Sousuke turned the knob and in one fluid motion, flung the door open and aimed his pistol.

"Good morning, Sagara. Can we come in?"

Kalinin and Mardukas were totally unconcerned by the gun pointing in their faces.

~

Kaname and Tessa, having been woken up by the door slamming, set about preparing breakfast while the men convened in the living room to plan their next move. Sousuke was about to introduce Kalinin and Mardukas to Tomaya but the three of them nodded and grunted, the universal sign of male acknowledgement and acceptance. 

"We've been working over our contacts," Mardukas began. "And it seems that Wolfram has somehow commandeered the _Sandolphon_."

Sousuke paled. "I thought it was a myth."

"We did too," Kalinin nodded. "Two weeks ago, three of the Mithril factions vying for supremacy met in battle in the South China Sea. Two of them were wiped out and Wolfram's was the only one left. He had a single ship, together, they had over thirty vessels from cruisers and destroyers to full fledged battle ships. They were annihilated in a little under five minutes."

"But what does he want with Jindai?" Tomaya asked. "If he can wipe out a full scale fleet in five minutes, why would he take over a high school?"

"The _Sandalphon_ is not all powerful," said Kalinin. "There were two other units built that could stand up to it and he has one of them. A specially designed Arm Slave code-named 'Metatron.' However, it requires a very powerful Whispered to pilot."

"So they were trying to kidnap Chidori or the Captain?" Since he was once again in a military situation, Sousuke was prepared to refer to Tessa as "The Captain."

"Exactly. But, now that you've saved them, he's stuck. He doesn't want to get his hands dirty in a show down with the police or else he would've already come after you four here."

"Breakfast!" called out Tessa from the other room. The four men ignored her.

"So, we need to get out of this city and out of the country as soon as possible," Kalinin included.

"What about Jindai?" Tomaya asked quickly. Sousuke was about to ask the same thing.

Mardukas hesitated for a moment before responding. "We can't afford to go back."

"Yes, we can. I'm not going to leave without knowing the other students are safe," Sousuke said.

"We simply can't. It would be too big a risk," Kalinin said firmly. Tomaya shook his head.

"As a teacher, it is my obligation to make sure my students are safe. I was a soldier, I'll go back and rescue them while you get the girls out of the country."

"One man can't do it alone," Mardukas said, shaking his head.

Tomaya smiled. "Some men can make the impossible possible."

"Then I'll go too," Sousuke said hurriedly. He looked from Kalinin to Mardukas to Tomaya. "I promised Chidori that everyone would be fine. I don't care what the rest of you do but I intend to keep my promise."

Each one of them was silent for a moment.

"I told you he would be uncooperative…" Mardukas muttered finally. Kalinin nodded.

"Fine. We were expecting this… Kurz and Melissa will be arriving shortly with the equipment we'll need. Sagara, you, Mardukas, Melissa and Kurz will storm the building the rescue the hostages." He turned to Tomaya. "It will be your job to get the girls to safety."

Tomaya opened his mouth to protest but then sighed, resigning to his fate. "Understood."

"I said…" Tessa yelled, storming into the room. "Breakfast is ready! It's gonna' get cold!" She didn't notice the grim faces the men wore.

~

Kurz and Melissa arrived shortly after breakfast. There was much hugging and crying as the two senior soldiers were united with their friends.

"Oh, we were so worried!" Melissa said, her eyes getting red. She wrapped her arms around Sousuke and hugged his head to her chest. The young soldier was smothered in flesh. Kaname and Tessa gave the older woman a hideous glare.

"Pfft. I told ya' he'd get them out alright!" Kurz said, clapping Sousuke on the back. 

"But how did you two get out?" Kaname asked quickly, trying to change the subject. She still didn't want to remember the image of her homeroom teacher's corpse…

"Ah, we happened to be out when it all happened," Melissa said with equal speed. She was just as keen to get onto a new subject and Kurz chuckled stupidly.

"Err…" Tessa said carefully but then she blurted it out. "Is it true you two go behind the gym during lunch to fool around?"

"W-what?!" Melissa almost screamed, her face glowing. "W-who told you that?"

Kurz burst out laughing. "Heheheh… I told my third period PE class… And fourth… And sixth…" This earned him an uppercut to the jaw.

"Are we about finished here?" said a sleepy voice from inside the car. Simultaneously, everyone peered in the window. Muttering quietly, the man inside opened the door and got out. He stood a little under six feet and was dressed impeccably in an Armani (or imitation Armani) suit. He had long hair but it was all greased back, making him look like a kung fu movie villain.

"Ming Chou, at your service," he said, bowing.

"Mr. Chou is the Board Director of BlitzCorp, the company that produced weapons and equipment for Mithril. Since this operation is so delicate and involves several of his company's products, he wanted to oversee it personally."

Ming nodded and added, "Those bastards steal our shit and make 'em regret it." Then, he cleared his throat. "That is to say, the _Sandalphon_ is an expensive and valuable piece of equipment and it would be a great liability if we were not able to reclaim it."

"What's a Sandalphon?" asked Kaname for the second time in two days. Everyone ignored her.

"Right then," Mardukas said quickly. "Ms. Chidori, Cap… Tessa. You two shall go with Mr. Chou and Mr. Ragasa to safety.

"What about everyone else?" said Tessa, looking around. She glanced over at Sousuke, who had gone into the trunk of his car. He came out with a shotgun and four shells held delicately in his teeth. One by one, he slipped each into the breech of the weapon and then cocked it.

"We have unfinished business to take care of."

~

When Sousuke's "special" car arrived at Jindai, they found it much the same as the day before. Several squad cars were parked out front with cops milling around.

The small assault team was made up of Sousuke, Kurz, Melissa, Kalinin and Mardukas, each armed to the teeth.

"Just like the old days, huh?" laughed Kurz as he slapped a magazine into his rifle, a large MSG-90. 

Sousuke murmured something quietly. His cut down Mossberg shotgun was slung over his shoulder and he loaded a magazine into an FN P90, not unlike the one used by a certain preteen girl in a certain recent anime series.

Next to him, Kalinin already having loaded his rifle, an AN-94, had gone into his wallet. Inside, he had a small icon of a Saint. Taking out the card, the old Russian bowed his head and whispered a prayer in his native tongue. Then, he kissed the icon.

"St. Jude," Kalinin explained. "Patron Saint of hopeless causes," he added, smiling.

Mardukas was silent as he loaded and cocked his MP-5. When he finished, he leaned against the car and turned his head upward, resigned to wait quietly until the time to act came.

Finally, Melissa was still a bit embarrassed because of the "revelation" about her and Kurz. She was still blushing and avoided looking at him, except for a brief moment when they eyes met. Then, she went back to checking her M4.

A few minutes later, they poured out of the car and started towards the front door to the school. Predictably, they were stopped by a cop.

"Excuse me," he said, glancing at their weapons nervously. "But who are you and what are you doing?"

Suddenly, it dawned on the five of them that they had not prepared an excuse.

It was Melissa, however, who solved their problem.

"We're with the US military. We've been ordered to subdue the terrorists and free the hostages. So, if you wouldn't mind stepping out of the way…"

The cop stared at her for a few seconds. "Could I see some proof, perhaps?"

Melissa sighed. She rolled her shoulders a bit, cleared her throat and took a deep breath. Switching to English, this is what she said: 

"BOY, WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION?! MY NAME IS SERGEANT MAJOR MELISSA MAO AND I WAS ORDERED BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE GODDAMNED UNITED STATES TO GO INTO THIS SCHOOL AND KILL EVERY LITTLE DIPSHIT TERRORIST I CAN FIND AND FREE THOSE KIDS! SO, WHY DON'T YOU GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY BEFORE I CALL UP GEORGE W. FUCKIN' BUSH, THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD AND PROTECTOR OF DEMOCRACY AND GOOD CHRISTIAN VALUES, AND ASK HIM TO COME WAY THE HELL OVER HERE AND STICK HIS COWBOY BOOT SO FAR UP YOUR GODDAMNED ASS YOUR NOSE BLEEDS!"

By the time she finished, Melissa was panting a bit. The cop was in a horrible state, on the verge of tears.

"Y-yes, ma'am…" he stuttered out, stepping to the side.

"I knew she was a Drill Sergeant," Kurz muttered to Sousuke. "But I've never seen her do that."

"Problem," Melissa said, trying the doors. "They're locked. Sousuke?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Still a bit frightened by her, Sousuke hightailed it back to his car.

"You might want to take cover," Mardukas muttered to the cop as he and the others quickly ducked behind cars.

The missile tubes on the '91 Toyota opened up and, a moment later, the doors ceased to exist.

~

The blast was heard all the way at the other side of the school in the administration office. A soldier burst in, his face pale with fear.

"We're under attack! They blew up the main entrance and we're taking heavy casualties from that end!"

Before Wolfram could say anything, Gauron stood up. "How many are there?"

"Uhh… Just five or six."

The big man smiled. "Kashim…" He glanced at Wolfram. "I'll take care of this. Continue as you see fit." As he left, he grabbed the blood caked sword that Fujiwara had used the day before and Gauron had swiped shortly afterward.

Turning his attention back to the situation at end, Wolfram smiled. "Now, I'm sure we can find some common ground on which we can agree…"

Across from him, in the principal's desk, sat Hayashimizu, the school council president, looking very relaxed. Next to him sat his right hand woman, Ren, who smiled pleasantly, very relaxed also.

"No," Hayashimizu said coolly. "I'm afraid we can't. With the teachers unable to assist, as the student council president, I consider it my duty to look after the pupils of this school. I cannot, therefore, in good conscience, reveal the addresses of ones Teresa Testarossa, Chidori Kaname or Sagara Sousuke."

"We couldn't reach some sort of agreement?" asked Wolfram again, reaching for his wallet.

"I'm afraid not. We've been over this for the past hour, Mr. Lischen. Now, if you wouldn't mind, we have already lost one day of school, which the students will have to make up during our break, not to mention a homeroom teacher. I have to organize the memorial service for him myself, as my council is temporarily unavailable. So, unless you and your men are willing to give a twenty-one gun salute and be an honor guard, I respectfully request that you withdraw."

"Alright," Wolfram said, putting his hands on the desk. "I'll make you a deal."

"There shall be no deal," Hayashimizu said, standing up and turning to look out the window. "You shall withdraw or provide your services free of charge for the Fujiwara-sensei's memorial. It is your choice."

There was a clicking as Wolfram drew his pistol, aiming it at Hayashimizu's back. The boy didn't flinch. 

"If you give me those addresses, I'll let all the students go. How does that sound?"

"Ren-san, would you call you father for me?"

"Certainly, Sempai," Ren said, reaching for the phone. Wolfram flicked the gun to her.

"Who's her father?"

"A yakuza boss. If you don't withdraw immediately, this school will be overrun with hired guns within the hour."

"You little bastard…" Wolfram hissed as he switched the gun back to Hayashimizu. Ren quickly dialed her home phone number.

"Hi, papa? Yes… Yes… Could you send them over, then? Thank you, daddy!" She put down the receiver and looked to Hayashimizu. "Daddy's sending over all the men he can find. They should get here in about twenty minutes."

Hayshimizu turned on Wolfram, smiling coolly still. "Shoot me if you like. It won't do you any good." He tilted his head and his glasses flashed.

~

About half an hour earlier, Kaname, Tessa, Tomaya and Ming Chou were at a gas station. Ming Chou was going about the task of sprucing up his car while it filled up with gas and talked mindlessly to no one in particular. Strangely, he often slipped into Chinese or English while speaking.

"So, you know, I couldn't back down from a deal like that. It made me the man I am today. It was just that great a deal. It made me the man I am today…"

When he went off to pay, Kaname glanced at Tessa and Tomaya, who in turn glanced back. The three of them shared a single, simultaneous nod.

"I'll drive," the old man muttered as they switched around, him getting into the driver's seat. Within moments, they were on their way to Jindai.

Ming Chou was not pleased.

~

Back at Jindai, Sousuke had gotten separated from his other four comrades. It was amazing how disorientating a flashbang could be. 

So, instead of trying to regroup, Sousuke decided to go liberate his class. He fought his way to the closest stair well, using up his stores of shotgun ammo as he went.

"Damn it," he cursed softly, tossing away the empty weapon. He pulled up the FN P90 and opened fire, using the body of a fallen soldier as cover. There were four, maybe five men spraying gunfire down at him and, within moments, there were two. He charged up the stairs, leaping over bodies. He fired a quick burst of fire into the legs of one of the troops and, as the poor fellow collapsed, fired a single shot into his face. He continued shooting, dropping the last soldier.

Finally, he finished scaling the stairs. Eight dead soldiers were sprawled like obscene rag dolls along them. Sousuke tore his eyes away from them. He didn't want to recognize anyone.

~

When they arrived at the school, Kaname, Tessa and Tomaya tried to go through the police blockade and were stopped by the same cop who had attempted to stand in the way of a disgruntled Marine and her friend.

"This area is closed off to civillians," he said quickly, putting his hands up. "We can't let you in. We assure you, the US Army is already doing what they can."

Tomaya sighed. "Let me take care of this." He stood in front of the cop, sizing him up. The other man was much younger and taller than the old Japanese but Tomaya easily had more presence.

"I," Tomaya Ragasa began. "Am a teacher at this school. It is, therefore, my duty to see to the safety and well fare of these students. I am, however, also an Officer of the Emperor. I served my country during the Pacific War and I'm more than capable of handling such a situation as this. Are you, young man, going to stand in the way of a soldier of Japan, no, a son of Japan as he attempts to protect and cultivate Her citizenry? Are you prepared to commit such a despicable act of treason?"

The cop sighed and slumped his shoulders as Tomaya walked past him. He looked to be on the verge of tears.

"No," he said, as Tessa and Kaname tried to follow him. "Not you too. You're civilians… You're not soldiers."

Tessa's eyes went wide and she clasped her hands tightly. "I… I'm sorry." Then she stepped to the side. The cop barely even saw Kaname's fist coming.

~

It was more or less chaos inside Jindai by the time the three got inside. The Mithril troops were panicking. Tomaya, Tessa and Kaname were each armed but that didn't prepare them for the firefight they had just walked into.

"Damn it…" whispered Kaname. Unbeknownst to her, Sousuke had just uttered the same words a few hundred yards from her. She was crouched behind a desk, not far from Tessa, bullets whizzing above her head. Tomaya was a bit ahead of them, leaning out from behind a door way.

Thrusting her pistol over the desk, Kaname fired as best she could. Unfortunately, she had never had anything even remotely resembling firearms training and her shots went wild. 

Suddenly, the desk in front of her exploded into shards. Kaname dropped the gun and covered herself, the splinters flying and cutting into her. She fell back, trying desperately to brush the bits of wood away.

Then she felt it. It was a sudden shock, like being punched in the gun, only concentrated on one spot. It hurt like hell for a second and then her entire leg was numb.

I've been shot, Kaname realized. She glanced down at her body. Her thigh was glowing bright red, her skirt quickly absorbing the blood flowing out. She struggled to her feet, pain coursing through her leg, hugging the wall.

Then, the pain came again, sharper this time. She doubled over from the force and slumped against the wall. She gave a few raspy coughs, spitting blood onto the floor.

I've been shot again, she thought. I'm going to die. 

She forced her legs to move, creeping forward slowly, still leaning against the wall.

This sucks… I don't want to die. How did things turn out like this? Is this what Sousuke feels like every time he gets shot? He's even tougher than I thought. I wonder where he is now? I wanna' see him before I die…

To see Sousuke again. That seemed like a logical aspiration to Kaname. If she could just find him… Whisper something in his ear and give him a kiss… Then she could die without regrets. 

Kaname forced her legs to move, letting her instincts take over, willing herself to run. Guns went off around her and bullets buzzed through the air like angry flies and she heard Tessa calling her name but she was too numb to make it out.

~

Sousuke clipped another magazine into his submachine gun as he turned down another hallway. Jindai seemed like a maze at the worst of times.

Finally, though, he seemed to find the right hallway. It appeared to be unoccupied as well. Still, he proceeded cautiously.

And then he heard it. It was a strangled, gasping moan. Sousuke spun, taking aim at the adjoining hallway, ready to squeeze the trigger. A moment later, he was glad he didn't.

"Chidori…" he whispered. She smiled weakly at him. She was slumped against the wall, her belly and right leg covered in blood. Tiny red scratches blanketed her face and arms. She was trembling and she seemed to have trouble keeping her eyes opened. 

Sousuke dropped the gun and sprinted forward. At the same time, Kaname's legs gave out and she fell into his arms. Ignoring the blood, he cradled her gently, picking her up.

"Chidori, can you hear me? Can you see me? Don't go to sleep."

"I'm okay, Sousuke, but listen… I…"

"I'm going to get you to safety. Don't worry." He hurried back to the hall and started towards their homeroom.

"No, wait… Listen…" Kaname coughed, tossing a few specks of blood onto Sousuke's chin.

"Chidori, I-" Sousuke stopped dead. They were in front of a janitor's closet across from their homeroom. "I have an idea."

~

Everyone in the class was scared and Sergeant was doing his best to keep them calm by teaching them the finer points of English pronunciation.

Just as he was going over the "th" sound, however, the door burst open.

"Fumoffu!"

Enter Bonta-kun.

"Class Rep!" someone cried out. Bonta-kun was carrying a very beat up Kaname so no one was quite sure who he was referring to.

"Fu! Fumomoffuuu!"

"Huh?" Sergeant said, staring at the plush invader. Bonta-kun gingerly laid Kaname down on the desk.

"Oh my god… Kana-chan…" whispered Kyouko in shock.

"Fumo," Bonta-kun said, waving a paw in Kyouko's direction. Then, he turned his attention to Sergeant. "Fumomomofumo!"

"What?"

Sighing, Bonta-kun leapt forward, into a fighting stance. With one paw, he beckoned Sergeant forward. "Fumo!"

"I don't…"

Bonta-kun didn't wait long. He delivered body slam that knocked the poor man against the wall. Then, he picked him up, went over to the door and tossed him out.

"Wow…" Shinji said. "I didn't see that coming."

"Kana-chan!" Kyouko now rushed up to the desk, leaning over her friend. The blue haired girl smiled up at her, grinning stupidly.

"Kyouko… what's up?"

"Kana-chan, what happened to you? Oh my god…"

"Fumo!" Bonta-kun placed a paw on Kyouko's shoulder. "Fumomo!"

"He's saying that he'll take care of it," Kaname explained. "He says you all should leave through the nearest exist and be careful."

"Kana-chan…"

"Don't worry. I'll be okay. Bonta-kun may not be good for many things but this is one thing he's useful for." She shot a smile to the teddy bear who sighed.

With that, Kyouko and the rest of the class resigned themselves to leave, leaving the two alone.

Sousuke unzipped the Bonta-kun costume, groaning. "I still can't get the voice box on this to work…"

Kaname giggled. "Why did you do that?"

"I didn't want them to panic. I hoped the suit would lighten thing," he explained. He turned his attention to her wounds. Kaname met his gaze and looked down.

"Go ahead."

"I'm sorry."

"It's nothing you haven't seen before," she teased. In her shock, she was feeling giddy.

Delicately, he pulled down her bloody skirt and unbutton her blouse up to her breasts. Going into his first aid kit, he brought out a few alcohol wipes and began cleaning away the blood. It stung like hell and Kaname squeezed her eyes shut.

"This is going to hurt," he warned, finding a pair of tweezers in the kit.

"Whatever. Just get it over with." Carefully, he removed both bullets, tossing them to the side without a second glance.

"Chidori… I'm going to cauterize the wounds."

"Oh, god…" she said, laughing bitterly. Six months ago, she had down the same for him.

Sousuke took the scalpel from the first aid kid and produced a cigarette lighter from another pocket.

"You're not smoking, are you?" Kaname asked tersely, looking for anything to take her mind off the two holes in her.

"No. A lighter is useful." He lit it and held the scalpel over the blade. Five minutes later, it was glowing hot red.

Quickly, Sousuke pressed the knife against the first wound in Kaname's leg. She gave a sharp whimper, grinding her teeth together and squeezing her eyes shut. She reached out, grabbing his hand, giving it a fierce squeeze. He repeated the action again, sealing the wound on her stomach. Then, he tossed the scalpel away and opened up his canteen, pouring the cool water over her.

She was panting hard, her eyes rolling back in her head.

"God… How do you put up with this?" Kaname muttered. Her grip on his hand lessen but she didn't let it go. He laid his other hand on her stomach, stroking her gently…

"It's easy when you know no other life," a low voice said. The both turned as Gauron walked in, grinning like a bastard.

"Damn it…" Sousuke breathed. His submachine gun lay in the hall and so he only had his pistol to fight with. And there was no way he could draw it fast enough…

"So, Kashim, Did I ruin a romantic moment for you?"

Kaname tensed up. Gauron noticed and grinned wider, showing off his teeth. They looked more like oversized kernels of corn.

"And for that I'm sorry… But you've been giving me a great headache today." He reached to his waist, drawing the sword that Fujiwara had been using earlier. 

"Stand down, Gauron," another voice said. Kaname was getting tired of people walking in unannounced and unexpected.

It was Tomaya Ragasa. He didn't have his pistol and, instead, was armed with a bokken he probably swiped from the sports supply room. He brought it to bear, standing in a ready stance, his eyes focused on Gauron.

"Oh? And who commands me?" Gauron kept grinning because he already knew the answer.

The answer was quiet. "Sagara." Then… "Sagara… Yamato!"

End of Chapter Five

Author's Notes:

In about twelve hours, I'll be watching Kill Bill vol. 2. Yatta.


	6. Chapter Six: Those Regarded as Warriors

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Panic. This is a parody. Acorporationthatwaivesitsrightosuesayswhat.

Warning: The following contains salty language that may be offensive to some people of higher moral standing than I. Consider yourself warned.

Chapter Six: For Those Regarded as Warriors

"Sagara… Yamato!"

The room was silent. Not only could you have heard a pin drop, you could've heard the tortured screams of the microscopic organisms crushed by the pin.

"So," Gauron said, not blinking, his eyes like with Sagara Yamato's. "You have returned from the dead…"

"Sensei…" Sousuke said. He was still holding Kaname's hand. The gravity of the situation was slowly dawning on her.

"Sagara Yamato… That's…"

"Japan's most cherished war hero to come out of the Pacific War…" Gauron whispered, smiling. "Venerated for his near superhuman abilities and feats. Despised for his cruelty."

"Sensei…" Sousuke said again, looking to the man he had known as Tomaya.

Yamato gave the slightest nod. "Yes. It's true. Sousuke, I am your father."

~

"Stay down!" Melissa yelled, as she delivered a spinning elbow to the jaw of some unlucky soldier. He flew back from the force of the blow and smashed through a window. He hung, half in, half out, groaning.

Melissa and Kurz were in the process of fighting their way to the administration office when they were pinned down by the damn near endless stream of fresh Mithril troops.

"Goddamn, how many did they bring?!" yelled out Kurz in frustration. Using his rifle like a club, he swung wildly and cracked it against the head of a charging foe. Another to his side drew a knife and lunged at him. Acting quickly, Kurz jabbed the barrel of the rifle into his gut. The soldier doubled over, gasping as he was suddenly winded. Then, Kurz switched the rifle around and used the stock to uppercut him. The final blow was a sideways smash that knocked him off his feet.

Melissa and Kurz were also out of ammo. Fortunately, it seemed that the Mithril remnants were not well prepared for this excursion and had not planned on extended fighting. It wasn't long before most of their attackers were dried up too and the battle degenerated into a bloody brawl.

"Kurz, gimme' some help over here!" growled Melissa. As she ducked a right hook from someone behind her, she kneed the guy in front of her in the gut and, as he went down, she smashed her elbow into the top of his head. Then, she spun around, knocking her foot into the knee of the fighter behind her and headbutted him. Unfortunately, Melissa's attention was distracted from the third commando who had approached her, combat knife drawn.

Letting out a war cry that was a combination of "That's mine" and "Banzai!", Kurz charged and tackled the knife-wielding assailant. In a standard "ground and pound" maneuver, he beat the living daylights out of the soldier.

"Thanks…" Melissa said, wiping the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. Kurz sat back and rolled off of his defeated enemy. He flashed a grin up at her.

"No problem, sis. Do I get a hero's reward?"

"Yeah. I'll pretend I didn't hear that and I won't stick my foot so far up your ass, your nose bleeds."

"You know, maybe you could… 'order' me around… Eheheh…"

"That's it. Reward is no longer valid." Melissa cracked her knuckles.

Kurz uttered but one sound: "Mommy."

~

The room was again silent. This time, it was Kaname who spoke.

"What. The. Hell?"

"Huh?" Yamato said, raising his eyebrows.

"You. You're Sousuke's father."

"That's right."

"And you knew about it."

"Yes."

"And you didn't tell him?"

"No…"

Forcing herself up, Kaname produced out of nowhere a paper fan. But not just any paper fan. This was a paper fan among paper fans: a full three feet long and two feet wide.

"So, you're son, your own flesh and blood, was at the same school that you taught at and you never even entertained the idea of telling him?"

"Not as such…"

Kaname took a deep breath. Sousuke, knowing what was coming, braced himself.

"How can you be so self-centered?! Damn it, Sousuke could use a father figure! Even if he is a war criminal! Do you know what the closest thing he has to a father is?! An old Russian guy and Marlon Brando in The Godfather. I hate people like that! Why the hell didn't you say anything?! He's your son, goddamn it! He's had a horrible life and you could've done something about it. But nooooo… You're a war criminal. You have to feel bad about it. You can't love anyone, can you? Because you're so guilty. Because you're ashamed. I hate people like you. It's better that Sousuke never knew about you. Some of your cowardice might have rubbed off on him. God, I don't want you for a father in law!"

Yet more silence.

"You're… engaged?"

"Err… Not to my knowledge," Sousuke replied. Kaname gave him a well meaning smack with the fan.

"Am I right?" she demanded. "You didn't say anything because you felt guilty and ashamed. It's always the same. This is like a stupid soap opera…"

"It's more complicated than that…" Yamato ventured.

"I don't care! You still should have said something! Do you know what it's like to grow up without a parent? Do you? I lost my mom and it hurt like hell. Sousuke didn't even know you. And I don't even want to ask what happened to his mother. And then you go, acting like a samurai. If you were a samurai, you would've cut open your stomach by now for having been such a coward! I hate people like that!"

She was panting now. The effort of chewing someone out seemed to have made Kaname faint so she leaned against Sousuke. 

Gauron, who had remained silent, started chuckling.

"And you," growled Kaname, glaring at him. "What's so funny?!"

"I wonder…" Gauron said slowly. "Why Sagara Yamato remained silent? Ah, yes, I know… Perhaps I should start at the beginning? That way, it'll make the most sense… Do you have any problems with that… 'Dad'?"

Yamato said nothing for a moment. "Say what you have to say."

"Ah, well then… What's the quotation? 'For those regarded as warriors, when engaged in combat the vanquishing of thine enemy can be the warrior's only concern. Suppress all human emotion and compassion. Kill whoever stands in thy way, even if that be Lord God, or Buddha himself. This truth lies at the heart of the art of combat.'

"Sagara Yamato lived this through out the war. So focused was he on defending his country and repelling the 'foreign devils' that he was nigh unstoppable. He was a master of all forms of warfare, be it land, air, sea or psychological. There are few weapons as powerful as the heads of three hundred Chinese children, eh, 'Dad'?"

Yamato said nothing.

"The only one who could stop Sagara Yamato was… Sagara Yamato. Seeing that the war was lost, he faked his own death at the battle for Okinawa and disappeared. It seems that, when it came down to it, his own ass was more dear to him than the Emperor and Japan."

Still, Yamato said nothing.

"So," Gauron continued. "For twenty years or so, Sagara Yamato laid low, changing his name to 'Tomaya Ragasa.' He just reversed the syllables. But, then, in the '60s, with the Cold War heating up, a private detective just happened to find him. Since the Statute of Limitations was about to run out, the courts were all ready to prosecute him.

"But, again, he saved himself. The US military was doing experiments with cloning and they were looking for appropriate models. That is to say, they needed the DNA of the best soldiers to create their own super soldiers. Audie Murphy refused so, guess who they asked?

"Sagara Yamato agreed, of course. The project was code named… Gauron." He smiled at this. "About two dozen initial clones were made and 'fielded' in Vietnam. As part of the deal, Sagara Yamato and a few of the other scientists working on the project oversaw the operation.

"Unfortunately, it seemed that the clones lacked the mental stability of the original… The scientists had made some changes in their… or, rather, our… brains to maximize our combat efficiency or some such. It didn't work out well.

"In the end, the clones rebelled against their taskmasters and then against each other. Only three individuals survived: Sagara Yamato, myself and a scientist by the name of Maria Hayashi. More about her later.

"Sagara Yamato returned to Japan and drifted about for a few years, even attempting to start a far right wing terrorist cell in Roppongi. That didn't work out well either. Finally, in the '80s, he was contacted by the US Military once again. It seemed the remaining Gauron was in Afghanistan, working for the Russians. The mission they gave him; and he had no choice whether or not to accept it, was to hunt that remaining Gauron down and kill him.

"Easier said than done. Maria Hayashi accompanied him, being the only other survivor of the project in Vietnam. What followed was five or so years of blood cat and mouse that I won't bore you with. By the end, an important addition to the game had come into play… Kashim."

Sousuke stiffened noticeably.

"Gauron, stop here," Yamato growled but the big man went on. 

"Yes… Ms. Chidori, you mentioned something about not knowing what happened to Kashim's mother? I'll tell you."

"Stop," commanded Yamato, with all the authority of a full military officer. Gauron did not yield.

"I killed her. In an ambush. To me, it was personal… I don't like people messing with me period, let alone my DNA and chromosomes. "

Sousuke exhaled slowly and Kaname reached out, grabbing his hand again.

"And, yet again, Sagara Yamato ran. After Maria Hayashi's death, he ran back to Japan and took his old name again. He became a Kendo coach and began teaching here. And all was fine up until a week ago."

There was yet another beloved awkward silence. Sousuke spoke, oddly enough.

"Is that all?"

"Sousuke, you have to understand-" Yamato started.

"Is. That. All?"

Yamato stopped and nodded. "Yes. More or less."

Gauron, Kaname and Yamato all looked at him, watching for his reaction. Sousuke looked each one in the eye and finally scowled.

"As much as I try to, I can't make myself feel sorrow for what happened. These are people I don't know. I can't feel grief over something I've never felt or seen. Maybe, if I had known my mother-" he stopped and glanced at Yamato again. "-or my father… I would feel something. But, no, I feel nothing. Like Chidori said… This is a bad soap opera to me."

Gauron burst out laughing.

"Wonderful! Kashim, you amaze me… Truly a cold heart."

"It's not a matter of having a cold heart. You can't go up to a person and say 'Here's how your mother died. Now cry' if you never knew her." He shook his head. "I need to think about this."

"Sousuke…" Kaname whispered softly. Then, she turned on the two men. "You two should be ashamed of yourselves. You know, you stole Sousuke's chance of living a normal life? And now, you two will have a nice sword fight. I hope you both run each other through."

"'A normal life'?" Gauron asked. "What is she talking about, Kashim? You're a soldier and you know it. Don't deny it. You know very well you can't live in 'this' world." He gestured to the classroom. "The battle field is your home. You feel uneasy with 'normal' people, even those your own age. You can't adapt to civilian life. You're a killer and you know it. You might not admit it but somewhere… somewhere inside, you know it's true."

When Sousuke growled, Gauron laughed again.

"You want to kill me, don't you? You can feel yourself drawing your pistol and shooting me. You can't miss at this range, you know. You're a good shot and I'm too close. You could finish all of this right now. Go ahead, Kashim. Kill me."

"Sousuke…" Kaname whispered again. "Let's just leave."

A cold sweat had broken out over his forehead. His hand reached for the Glock in its holster.

"Good. Good, Kashim. Kill me. Strike me down, like Cain did to Abel. Wipe me from this Earth. What kinds of lies have you been telling this girl? Does she really think that you can walk away from a fight? It's in your blood, Kashim. It's a vital part of your very psyche… Take away the battle and you don't feel right."

"Shut up! Sousuke's not like that!" Kaname yelled.

"Really? What makes you think that?" drawled Gauron.

"He might be a clueless idiot but he's getting better. It just takes some getting used to. Underneath all that, he's really kind and sensitive and-"

"He was gentle when he laid you so all of a sudden, he's kind and sensitive?!"

"Shut up!" Kaname yelled, blushing. "You don't know anything about Sousuke!"

"I know more about him than you ever will," Gauron whispered, grinning, his eyes flashing. "If he keeps denying the soldier in him, you'll never know anything about him."

"That not true, damn it! He's not like that!"

"He is! He's a soldier and a killer. You're a fool not to realize that. You-"

"SHUT UP!"

Surprisingly, it was not Kaname or even Yamato who said this. It was Sousuke.

"Don't tell me what I am and what I'm not. Who are you to say who I am? Who are you to say what I'm like? You've made up some sort of twisted relationship between us. Until a few months ago, you were only the terrorist Gauron, working for A21 and now, suddenly, you know more about me than I know about myself? 

"I don't care what you think. I've almost killed you half a dozen times and you still come back to me. Do you have a death wish? You're right, I could wipe you from this Earth if I wanted to. I admit it. I am a soldier. However…"

Sousuke took a deep breath.

"Even if I am a soldier, that's a part of me I'm willing to forget. I can change. I know this and Chidori does and that's all that matters. As long as I'm with her, I can do anything."

"Sousuke…" Kaname whispered, tears glistening in her eyes.

Gauron just grinned. "I see, Kashim…"

"We're leaving now," Sousuke said suddenly. He helped Kaname to stand up and drew his gun, aiming it at Gauron, then Yamato and then at Gauron again. "If either of you try to stop us, I won't hesitate to shoot."

"Get out of here, Sousuke," Yamato said, shifting in his stance. "I'll take care of Gauron."

Sousuke looked intently at his father for a moment before shrugging. "That's your prerogative. The only thing I care about is getting Chidori to safety."

"As long as he doesn't run away, we'll be fine," Kaname said dryly as they left. Yamato looked a bit hurt but then turned his attention back to Gauron.

When they were back in the hallway, they set off running. Sousuke gripped Kaname's hand, leading her along. They stumbled down the stair well, avoiding the dead bodies.

"My god…" Kaname whispered when she saw them. Sousuke didn't seem to notice or care and pulled her along.

"We're almost out," Sousuke murmured as they came to the main doors. Kaname sighed in relief. That sigh was suddenly caught in her throat when she saw who was waiting for them. 

The girl with red hair down to her shoulders stood in their way, her hands stuck in her jeans.

"Kaname…" Fatima whispered.

And suddenly, neither of them was there anymore. 

Her vision blurred for a second and then, Kaname opened her eyes. Instead of her school hallway, she was standing alone with Fatima on a light green lake.

Oh, she thought. This place again.

"What do you want?" Kaname asked, feeling more uneasy with each second. 

"I can't let you go any further…" Fatima whispered. She tilted her head down, a grin forming on her face. 

Suddenly, an incredible pain shot through Kaname's body. Imagine, if you will, if you had ten liters of acid injected into your blood stream. That would be about what Kaname was going through.

"It's nothing personal…" Fatima continued. "But I can't let you hurt Gauron…"

Just as suddenly as the hallucination had begun, however, both girls suddenly returned to the real world. Kaname was on her knees, gripping her head in pain when she looked up. Fatima was doubled over, gripping her stomach. Sousuke stood in front of her.

"I'm sorry," he said unceremoniously and back handed her, knocking her down. Then, he turned to Kaname, offering her his hand. She took it and they ran for the doors.

End of Chapter Six

Author's Notes: So, raise your hand if you've seen Kill Bill vol. 2? *raises his hand* It was good but not as good as the first. Fortunately, they explain everything and it has a happy ending.

And, if you notice, there are several references to Kill Bill in this chapter. Expect several more. 

And who saw Gundam SEED on Toonami? Whoo! It wasn't as mangled as I thought it would be but it's only the first episode.

On one final note, the first volume of Tokyo Babylon will be released in the US soon. Tokyo Babylon is probably my ultimate favorite manga. It's a great and very deep story with beautiful, '80s-style shoujo art. Anyway, check it out because it's damned good.


	7. Chapter Seven: And the Band Played Waltz...

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Panic. Acorporationthatwaivesitsrighttosuesayswhat.

Warning: The following may contain salty language that may be offensive to those of a higher moral standing than I. Consider yourself warned.

Chapter Seven: And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda

"Ladies and gentleman, children of all ages, feast your eyes on the ship that will save the world… I give you… The _Excalibur_!"

After escaping from Jindai, the group consisting of Sousuke, Kaname, Kalinin, Mardukas, Tessa, Kurz, Melissa and Ming Chou, a representative from BlitzCorps, Mithril's primary arms manufacturer, quickly and quietly boarded a small, private jet for Australia. Mithril had once had a strong presence in the country and, thusly, they wouldn't have trouble finding sanctuary there. It was also the locations of BlitzCorps' headquarters.

And so, in a small, quiet suburb of Sydney, they arrived at a large compound. After going through various security checks, Ming Chou finally led them to an underground lab. With much flourish and pomp, he flung open the doors and let them in.

The _Excalibur_ as it turned out, was a ship, not unlike the _Tuatha de Danaan _but larger. Much large. Kaname couldn't tell but she was sure it had to be at least half a kilometer long. It was dark purple in color and looked like a cross between a WWII submarine and the Starship Enterprise. And, as she soon found out, it basically was.

"Incredible," breathed Sousuke next to her.

"What is it?" Kaname whispered.

"An excellent question, my dear!" Ming said, for he had ears like a fox. "This, my friends, is the most powerful warship ever built! It has firepower that far surpasses anything ever created before and the mobility to go around the Earth at the equator in twelve hours if the need arises! Not to mention, it can…" He paused, enjoying the attention. "…fly!"

There was a collective gasp.

"So, it's an airship, essentially?"

"More or less. The _Excalibur_ was built as a sister unit to the _Sandalphon _and the _Metatron_. Wolfram and his bastards may have gotten those two but we've still got this one."

"But can the _Excalibur_ stand up both of them at once?"

Kaname had given up trying to figure out what the _Sandalphon_ was exactly. She had a sneaking suspicion that no one actually knew and everyone was embarrassed by it and, thusly, pretended to know. For all anyone knew, it could actually be the new sandwich from Arby's.

Ming shrugged. "Perhaps… Err… It depends. In theory, yes, it could."

"In theory," Mardukas repeated.

"Yes, in theory. It's untested but so are the other two."

"So, in other words, you have no idea if any of this will work at all?"

"Exactly."

Everyone shared a collective sigh.

The tour of the facilities continued. The corporation had built sixteen specially designed M9's for the _Excalibur_. Since it was estimated that the coming battle would take place primarily in the air, each was equipped with a custom booster system that would allowed sustained flight for well over two hours.

"You should probably have all pilots go through some basic simulation battles to regain their bearings," Ming Chou told Tessa in between yelling at some workers in Cantonese.

"I want to pilot," Kaname blurted out. This was personal now, to her. The bastards had come in, taken over her school, terrified her classmates, shot her and were trying to kill her boyfriend. Damned is she wasn't going to show them what she thought of them.

Everyone looked at her and Tessa nodded.

"You have experience so I was planning on assigning you a unit. You haven't had any formal training so you should spend extra time in the simulator."

"Are there no other pilots?" Sousuke asked, looking up from the specifications report on the boosters.

"We're strapped for pilots as it is. We've been hunting down Mithril reserve members from around Australia to give us a hand and we still might be short."

"But she… Chidori," he shot a glance at the girl. "Chidori has no real experience with Arm Slaves."

"I piloted one," she protested. "And I think I did a pretty good job."

"That was a highly specialized model. These units are still very high grade but not at the caliber you've used before."

"So? I'll just have to adapt. I'm not worried."

"No. You can't do it."

Kaname gave Sousuke a malicious look. "Who're you to say what I can and can't do?"

"As a veteran combat professional. That's who."

"I saved your ass back in Rome-"

"Through the strength of your AS. Had you been piloting an M9, I believe the outcome of the battle would've been radically different."

"Why, you piece of-"

"Excuse me," said Ming quickly, putting up his hands and stepping between the quarreling teenagers. "We don't have much time and we've got more to do. Sagara, you'll be leading the attack, correct? For this purpose, we have a custom unit for you."

This piqued Sousuke's curiosity and for the moment, he forgot about his objections to Kaname's piloting. Ming Chou led him alone through the warehouse, going past AS after AS. The pungent smell of oil hung in the air like the fragrance of flowers in summer and Sousuke was loath to breath it in too deeply.

"Here we are. You should recognize it."

And Sousuke did. It was the Arbalest.

"How-"

"We actually built two prototypes. One of which was sent to you in an emergency and the other we kept for a rainy day like this. Mithril didn't know about this one, or else they would've taken it."

"I see," Sousuke said, walking around it, looking up at the familiar machine.

"And… Err… Al?"

"The AI system? Yes, a copy is installed. You'll have to put in your personal preferences again but, otherwise, it's exactly like your old unit. Lambda Driver and everything."

Somewhere inside, Sousuke cringed at the mention of the Lambda Driver.

Evening was quickly approaching when Sousuke retired to the quarters he had been assigned. When he entered them, he immediately felt at ease. They were similar, yes, very similar to the ones he had once had on the _Tuatha de Danaan_. Almost exactly the same. He couldn't help but feel a sense of nostalgia and peace when he stood in them.

A moment later, though, Sousuke was back in his own terrible reality. He sat down on the bed and took in everything that had happened.

Sagara Yamato was, indeed, live and well. At least he was when Sousuke left him. He was fighting Gauron with a wooden sword. That couldn't have turned out well.

Yes, it was a heavy thing, his father. Why hadn't he said anything? Maybe it would've been kinder to remain silent about it. It seemed bizarre, like something out of an anime or maybe Kafka.

And Gauron was a clone of Yamato. It almost made sense, in a way, the connection Sousuke seemed to have with the man. He could never seem to kill him either. It was almost like an anti-Oedipus complex. What would that make Kaname, then?

And Kaname. Why in the world would she want to pilot? She couldn't pilot. A few hours experience in a prototype unit did not a combat pilot make. And a few more hours in simulators wouldn't make up for it, either. Not to mention, if it truly would be an air battle, the stress would be greater and she would do worse.

Sousuke groaned in frustration and struck his fist against the metal wall. He listened with some satisfaction to the loud clang that echoed through the ship. The pain in his hand annoyed him but it took his mind off everything that was going on so he hit the wall again. And again. And again. Until his fist hurt so much that he flinched when he moved his fingers.

He held his hand out in front of him. It was very red and a bruise was starting to form on the fleshy side. He made a fist and winced but he bore the pain and flexed his hand. Soon, the pain had subsided and all he felt was a cold numbness.

A walk, Sousuke thought. Yes, that's what he needed. A walk would calm his mind. And so he started out, strolling through the _Exacalibur_, seeing whether or not its layout was similar to that of the _Tuatha de Danaan_.

It was indeed very similar. Both had been designed on a basic matrix, though the newer ship expanded on it greatly. It was essentially a much larger version of the _Tuatha de Danaan_.

Sousuke quickly lost himself as he wandered around, aimlessly. He didn't meet many people. The ship could theoretically support a huge crew but they were running with less than one hundred. It was almost like walking through a deserted castle.

Time flowed by without his noticing and, before long, it was midnight. Sousuke sighed and checked where he was. Just around the corner was the "arcade"- the simulation room.

The arcade was dark when Sousuke walked in. It was large and had well over fifty individual cockpit units. He was about to log onto one when he noticed that a single machine was on.

When Sousuke approached, he saw the telltale sign of a few locks of blue hair poking out.

Kaname's skin glistened with sweat. She licked her lips, not daring to tear her intense gaze from the screen of her cockpit.

"Sergeant, we need support-"

The crackling of machine guns pierced the cockpit and speakers boomed with the explosions all around her. She swerved and knocked out an artillery emplacement.

"Sergeant, we-"

The voice of her subordinate went dead as a hellish explosion rocked the little hell hole. Kaname gritted her teeth and rounded on her enemies. Three Arm Slaves. They were the old, Soviet froggy ones but dangerous none the less. She fired a burst from her rifle that sliced the first in two from behind. The others saw her and turned their fire on her.

The machine guns screamed and the explosions sang like some sort of twisted, horrible opera. Kaname sprayed an AS with fire and holes burst out of its belly and flames billowed out of them.

The last one. Kaname fired again while strafing and her rifle clicked empty. No time to reload. She dropped it, drew her knife, more of a machete, really, a great, cruel looking thing, and charged. 

She closed the distance and gutted the AS, driving the blade through the cockpit. The machine blew up around it, the armor melting away like hot butter.

And, then, it was all over. A shell landed next to her and burst, ripping apart both her and the lifeless shell hanging off her AS.

"Goddammit!" Kaname screamed, slamming her hand against the side of the cockpit. She pressed the Eject button which actually made the chair slide back, allowing the pilot to get out.

"If you can't beat an Intermediate level training scenario, you shouldn't pilot," Sousuke said, looking over the screen that tallied her score.

"Shut up. I was doing fine. I had almost won… If I play it again, I'll win."

"In battle, there are no continues."

Kaname twisted around in her seat and pulled herself up. There was a sickly, wet, slimy noise. She had been stuck to the seat. Had it been any other situation, Sousuke might have been admonished the girl for what she was wearing: A military fatigue tank top and a pair of tight shorts. That had been, unfortunately, all she could find that fit decently.

"What do you have against me piloting?" she demanded, looking fiercely at her boyfriend. "What? I've fought by your side before. Why do you have such a problem with it now?"

"I don't want you to get hurt."

"Sousuke, there's nothing we can do about that. If I don't pilot, the ship might be destroyed and I'll be hurt anyway."

"So stay in Australia," he said.

"Do you really think they'll stop with taking out the _Exaclibur_? Sousuke, this is our last hope. This is it, the last hurrah for us. Now, it's all or nothing. And goddammit, I'm not going down without a fight. Is it because Gauron might be there? Is that why you don't want me to pilot?"

"You have no idea what he's capable."

"Can't be anymore than what you're father is."

Sousuke was silent and Kaname looked away.

"If you can beat me in the simulator, I won't raise any more objections," Sousuke said finally. He opened up the machine next to Kaname's and sat down.

"Fine. You may be the better pilot but we both know I'm better at videogames," Kaname said, getting into her own.

"I won't go easy on you," he said, choosing his weapons. Shotgun, his forte.

"Good. You won't have that excuse when I kick your ass."

The duel started out. They were on a large grassland setting. The two Armored Slaves stood five hundred meters away from each other.

"Get ready," Kaname muttered. Her M9's thrusters flared and she dashed forward, firing haphazard shots. Sousuke dodged gracefully but didn't return fire. His M9 took to the air and came down only ten meters away from Kaname.

"Shit," she muttered. It only took one blast to knock her down. Sousuke stepped forward to finish things but Kaname forced herself up and shot back. He backed off.

This is how it continued for nearly half an hour. Sousuke conserved his shots, only taking one when he was sure he could get a hit while Kaname fired whenever she could. Where Sousuke's fighting style was graceful, conservative and reserved, Kaname was haphazard and chaotic.

She was sweaty again and stuck very neatly to the chair but she didn't give a damn. Her rifle clicked empty for the sixth time but, now, she didn't have a spare magazine.

"Damn it," she growled, casting it away, much the same as in her previous battle. She drew her knife again.

"Do you give up?" Sousuke called over the intercom. She could actually hear him in the cockpit next to her.

"I have not yet begun to fight!" Kaname yelled. This, Sousuke definitely heard next to him.

The M9 charged, knife out and down, ready to cut open Sousuke's Arm Slave. He held his ground, though, and waited.

Kaname dove at Sousuke, well aware of the fact that he had his shotgun leveled at her. Just as he fired, she flung herself down and to the left, managing to drive the blade deep into the leg of the enemy M9.

But, now, she was opened and she realized this all too late. Quickly, Sousuke drew his own knife and plunged it into the back of Kaname's Arm Slave. He threw her off and, though his unit was having trouble standing, he shifted his gun, pumped it and fired.

Kaname stared at the screen of her cockpit as they fizzled and shuddered. It soon culminated in a great explosion that lit up her machine.

"I told you," Sousuke said, as they both got out of their simulators. Kaname whispered something that he couldn't hear.

"What?"

"I hate you."

"Huh?"

She looked up at him and tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"I hate you! You always do this! What's wrong with you? Why can't you let me help you? You just… God!"

Kaname tried to run but Sousuke reached out a hand and grabbed her shoulder.

"Get off!" she growled through her tears, struggling against his hand.

"Chidori-" His hand caught the shoulder strap of her tank top and pulled it down, entirely on accident.

Kaname's face became crimson as she was exposed, even if it was to the boy she'd made love to dozens of times. Sousuke let go and Kaname pulled the strap back on. She looked at Sousuke for a moment and then slapped him. Hard.

She started to walk away again and Sousuke caught her shoulder again. He turned her around and, in one swift moment, he slapped her back. If he wanted too, he could have knocked her done but the stinging of her red, tear-streaked face and the new trickle of blood from her nose had just as much effect.

"You hit me…" Kaname whispered and Sousuke suddenly knew he had made a huge mistake. Before he could apologize, Kaname took off running.

"Goddammit…" Sousuke whispered and he hit the nearest simulator. His fist hurt like hell.

The next day, the _Excalibur _launched. As it rose out of the hangar slowly, like a giant waking up, the technicians and other personnel on the ground got together and lit a bonfire to see it off. It wasn't long before the beer had been passed out and, this being Australia, the band played Waltzing Matilda.

"Waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda, you'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me…"

End of Chapter Seven

Author's Notes:

This is the beginning of the end. Expect everything to go to hell from here on. And I don't know if there'll even be a happy ending… I've been reading a lot of Kafka.

Anyway, there's a bit of foreshadowing in the title of this chapter that I'd like to point out because it may not be immediately obvious to anyone except maybe Australians (do any Australians even read this?). "And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda" is a song about Australia in WWI. I don't want to spoil it so if you want to know, I suggest you find the song. It's a good song, too.


	8. Chapter Eight: We Few, We Happy Few

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Panic. This is a parody.

Chapter Eight: We Few, We Happy Few

"Good morning. I trust you all slept well."

That is how Tessa addressed the assembled pilots and support crews in the hangar of the Excalibur at 6:15 sharp. The sun had only just risen and damn near everyone was rubbing his eyes. A thin cloud of smoke hung like a bad omen over them. Normally, Tessa abhorred cigarettes but since it was right before a dangerous battle, and early in the morning to boot, she said nothing.

A collective groan answered her. Tessa coughed. Her hair was still damp from her shower twenty minutes before and water was dripping on the collar of her uniform. Flanking her on either side were Kalinin and Mardukas. Both, too, had just showered and had not had a chance to comb their hair well.

"Today's operation, as most of you know, will be to engage and sink the battleship Sandalphon."

In the assembled crowd, Kaname thought to herself, Ah, so that's what it is.

"I will not lie to you. Statistically speaking, we have a 20% chance of winning."

There was a loud groan.

"However," Tessa said quickly. "As we all know, there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics."

A nervous chuckle.

"Anyway, the expedition will proceed as follows: Upon coming into range of the Sandalphon, we will begin a long-range bombardment aiming at the engines of the ship. After five minutes of sustained fire, we will launch Arm Slaves. Each one is equipped with a booster with enough fuel for an hour of continuous flight. It's suggested that you check in to refuel every forty-five minutes. Mechanics and technicians will be on duty.

"Once the AS have launched, the Excalibur will focus its fire on the bridge of the Sandalphon while you go in and finish off the engines while eliminating any enemy resistance you encounter. We have limited numbers so it's suggested that you work in teams of two."

Sousuke glanced at Kaname and she discreetly flipped him off, pretending to scratch her cheek.

"Once the Sandalphon's engines are destroyed, it will fall out of the air and we will retreat. Are there any questions?"

No one spoke.

"Right then. Get ready. Operation begins in…" She checked her watch. "Fifty-eight minutes. Move!"

The pilot began to scatter and the three officers were left alone. Mardukas sighed heavily and began to recite:

"We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;

For he today who that sheds his blood with me

Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile

This day shall gentle his condition.

And gentlemen in England, now abed,

Shall think themselves accursed they were not here;

And hold their manhoods cheap while any speaks

That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day."

Kalinin and Tessa stared at him strangely. Mardukas smiled sheepishly.

"Shakespeare. Henry V."

"No, I recognize the passage but… Do you know what today is?" Tessa said slowly.

"October 25th," Kalinin said just as slowly.

"The Battle of Agincourt," Mardukas finished, his eyes widening in astonishment.

"Chidori."

Kaname was lounging in her cockpit, flipping through a book. A quick glance at the cover revealed it to be Napolean's Maxims. She gave no sign that she noticed him, even though Sousuke was standing on the boarding plank right in front of her.

"Chidori," the soldier said, this time a bit louder.

Kaname started to hum a song under her breath as she read.

"…sore ga ai deshou…"

Sousuke cleared his throat loudly. "Chidori, can you hear me?"

"…namida no kazu no itami wo…"

Sousuke banged loudly on the side of the cockpit with his fist and Kaname still ignored him. He stared at her in exasperation and pretended to walk away. Then, suddenly, he leapt in front of her again.

"Chidori!" he yelled, trying for any kind of response he could get.

"…kimi wa shitteru kara…"

He stood there for a few moments and blinked. Finally, he walked away in defeat.

Sousuke still had a good forty minutes till the beginning of the operation and he didn't feel like spending it in his cockpit. In fact, he wanted to spend as much time as possible not in the Arbalest and as far away from the Lambda Driver as possible. Seeing it lay waste to an entire city had made him lose whatever taste he had ever had for it.

As he wandered through the hangar, he made note of who all was there: It was a very international force that had been recruited to fight. A group of Israelis were huddled together, their prayer shawls around their shoulders, bowing their heads and reciting the holy scripture in Hebrew. Not far from then, four young Muslims chanted verses from the Quran softly to one another. Next to them was an Asian man, sitting cross-legged, deep in meditation. Across from him were six or seven Catholics and a priest, who was administering communion.

Sousuke had never adhered to any religious sect and never felt the urge to, although he was well versed in the rituals of many. Being able to recite the Quran in flawless Arabic or knowing how to act when one was at a Mass was extremely useful for blending in and getting people to trust him. Most people were more able to trust those who they believed to be of their own religion, Sousuke had realized.

Coming to Kurz's unit, Sousuke found his friend relaxing, smoking a cigarette and reading the newest copy of Playboy. There was a familiar looking and incredibly large man standing next to him and reading over his shoulder.

"Hey, Sousuke, wanna' take a look at Ms. October?"

"She's got some knockers on her!" the big roared in approval.

"You remember Snae-Ulf, right, Sousuke? My dad's bodyguard. He'll be piloting with us today."

Sousuke reached out his hand to shake with Snae-Ulf and the viking grabbed him, slapping him across the back jovially.

"You patch up well! The last time I saw you, you couldn't even walk!"

"That's Sousuke for ya'. He makes Superman look like a geriatric monkey," Kurz muttered, flipping through the magazine.

"Having fun there?" a voice asked suddenly. Kurz looked up… And was promptly kicked in the face. As he flew back, Melissa reached down and caught they magazine.

"Hmm…" she said looking over the spread. "They're fake."

"Ten minutes till the operation begins," Tessa said, checking her watch. She and her officers stood in the Excalibur's war room, surrounding by tactical displays. The floor was actually a large screen that displayed a map of the battlefield and played the attack plan over and over, using small, simulated units.

"Errr, Captain," Ming Chou said, walking in.

"Do you have authorization to be here?" Mardukas asked. Ming ignored him and walked right up to Tessa.

"I have a problem with this," he said hurriedly.

"Oh? Where's the problem?"

"There," Ming Chou said, pointing at the graphic of the Sandalphon blowing up. "Do you know exactly how much that cost to build? We can't just destroy it?"

"What then," Kalinin said, stepping in. "Do you propose we do?"

"Anything else! I want it taken intact!"

"Are you give me an order, Mr. Ming?" Tessa asked coolly.

"All I'm saying is that the Sandalphon is worth more than… than…"

"The lives of our men?" suggested Kalinin.

"Yes! I mean-"

That was all it took. Kalinin landed a haymaker that knocked Ming to the floor.

"Gentleman," Tessa said frantically. "You can't fight in here! This is the war room!"

Everyone looked at her strangely for a moment.

"Do you really think," Kalinin said, grasping Ming Chou around the collar and forcing him to his feet. "That we should risk letting that… thing… get away… just because it cost a lot to build? Then why the hell build it in the first place?!"

"Admiral, please stopping choking BlitzCorps representative. It's bad for business."

Like gargantuan birds of prey, the Arm Slaves took off from the Excalibur's hangar. One by one, they soared into the wild blue yonder, presumably to touch the face of God or, in the case of the Sandalphon, to kick the ass of an angel.

"Two minutes to target. Be careful of turbulence," crackled an anonymous voice over Sousuke's radio. He tried to relax as best he could but that was almost impossible. Although he had flown before, he wasn't nearly as comfortable in the air as he was on the ground. Fortunately, the controls for an airborne AS weren't much different than one on land and he was able to get the hang of things quickly.

As the squadron blasted through the clouds, wisps rushing past like melted marshmallow, Sousuke considered trying to talk to Kaname one last time. He doubted he could convince her to fall back but maybe he could give her some tips? No, then she'd just get mad. Besides, he didn't know which unit she was piloting and he didn't feel like asking for her in each.

The group of Armored Slaves passed through one particularly large cloud and, as they emerged from it, they saw it.

While living in Japan, Sousuke had once seen reruns of an old cartoon called "Macross" or something along those lines. The title referred to a giant space ship with a vaguely humanoid, robotic form. He was immediately reminded of the Macross when he saw the Sandalphon.

To say it was huge would be an equally large understatement. Although he could accurately tell, it seemed to be well over a kilometer in height and at least three hundred meters in width. It looked a bit like a medieval European knight, heavily decked out with armor. If he squinted, Sousuke could make out the clusters of anti-aircraft emplacements all over the behemoth's shell.

"My god…" someone whispered over the radio.

The Sandalphon hung, suspended in the air by the huge engines in the oversized, dumpy looking legs. They burned with a blue fire that stretched for a good fifty meters.

Stored on its back, looking like a giant pole supporting the monster, was what Sousuke guessed to be a cannon but one that made even the heavy guns of the Excalibur look like a child's cap gun.

"Don't be discouraged," came Tessa's voice through the radio speakers. "We can take this thing."

"You've got to be kidding me…" said a feminine voice. Sousuke immediately recognized it.

"Chidori?!" he asked without thinking. She ignored him.

It was at about that moment that the gunfire started and everything went straight to hell.

"Edmund, report. They've begun the assault?"

Wolfram stood on the bridge of the Sandalphon, actually located in the "head" of the ship. He was surrounded by technicians and officers, all very busy commanding the continuous salvos of the ship. Next to him was a strapping young man, his right hand man.

"Sir, they've launched with a force of fifteen or so Arm Slaves. We don't have exact data on the Excalibur but we don't expect to have much trouble with this engagement."

"Excellent."

"Shall I give the order for Gauron and his AS Squadron to launch?" asked Edmund, pulling his cell phone from his belt. It was easier to communicate throughout the ship that way.

"Not yet. I want to see how things play out," Wolfram said, his attention focused totally on the battle before him.

"Sir?"

But Wolfram didn't answer. A small, evil grin twisted itself onto his face.

Explosions burst around him as Sousuke flew. The Arbalest spun and tumbled through the air, now close enough to feel the heat from the guns of the Sandalphon. Before they could get to the engines, the pilots had quickly realized, they would have to carve out a path among the anti-aircraft guns that littered the ship.

And so, they had gone to work. Firing fast and hard, the Arm Slaves began to take apart the ship's defenses piece by piece. And Sousuke was leading them.

"Sagara, I need help over here!"

Sousuke twisted violently, the strain of the pivot putting more and more stress on the joints of the Arbalest. He fired a quick burst of fire that tore apart an air-to-air missile launcher and followed up by drawing his unit's combat knife and charging forward, slicing deep into a cannon emplacement.

The sweat was pouring freely down Sousuke's forehead and clung to every cell of his body. The frantic chaos of the battle was taking its toll on everyone but him especially. The Arbalest was better suited for heavy combat than any of the M9's and Sagara himself was a stronger pilot than anyone else.

Not far from him, Kaname wasn't doing too badly. Real combat was nothing like a simulator, true, but she took to it naturally. She spun and dodged gracefully, as shells and ordnance screamed through the air. When the AS next to her burst into flames, she only barely avoided being caught in the explosion. As she went sailing from the force of the blast, her M9 crashed into a cluster of machine guns, setting off another explosion.

"God damn it…" she cursed quietly. She opened fire haphazardly, ripping apart cannon after cannon. Dozens blew up in rapid succession. She kicked off of the ship before the rest of the emplacements around her went up in an inferno.

Suddenly, Kaname's AS shook violently as it was hit from the side. She went tumbling through the air and the cockpit screens shuddered for a few moments. A salvo of missiles streaked towards her and she would've been hit and blown to smithereens. At the moment before impact, though, another AS came down, throwing its arm around the M9's waist and dragged it out of the line of fire.

"Chidori! Are you okay?" Sousuke yelled anxiously.

"S-sousuke?" she stuttered, twisting around in her seat to get a look at the Arbalest.

"I… I… I don't need your help!"

"Chidori… Stop this…"

"No! I don't need your help so-"

An explosion rocked the two Arm Slaves, sending them flying.

"What was that?"

"They've launched their Arm Slaves…" Sousuke said grimly.

"Gauron, you know the plan… No funny stuff. You push them back and then withdraw," Wolfram said tersely. He was rubbing his temples in frustration: 20% of the Sandalphon's defenses had already been knocked out.

"I'll do as I please," Gauron replied. His AS dwarfed the other two dozen or so by a good three meters. It was modeled like a giant, medieval warrior, complete with helmet and face guard. Painted a brilliant red, it slowly drew a long Japanese style blade from the sheath at its waist.

"The Trebuchet isn't just for show, after all…" Gauron said, looking smug.

Like horrible birds of prey, the Sandalphon's AS contingent flooded out of its hangar and set upon the attacking force.

"Shit…" Sousuke muttered. He let go of Kaname's AS and opened fire on the incoming machines. He destroyed one almost immediately but he soon had to withdraw under the barrage of enemy shells.

Sousuke dodged and avoided the explosions around him, spinning around and returning fire just as well. His shotgun was quickly over heating and, when the last round was spent, he turned it over and smashed the butt into the cockpit of one of the Sandalphon's M9's that got too close.

Once he was out of immediately danger, Sousuke scanned the battlefield. The Excalibur units were holding their own admirably in the face of superior numbers. Drawing his combat knife, the young solder was about the rejoin the fray when he noticed a red AS.

Whenever he saw a red AS, Sousuke knew from experience, trouble wasn't far behind. Nor was Gauron. And, the fact that the red AS had just disemboweled an M9 with an oversized katana seemed to prove this fact.

"Shit…" he cursed again and took off to engage the red Arm Slave.

"Gauron!"

The roar went over the radios of every warrior present, including in the Excalibur and the Sandalphon. In the former's war room, all activity was stopped briefly.

"Things are about to get a lot more interesting…" Mardukas said softly.

"I see Kashim has found me…" Gauron said and smiled. The Trebuchet's katana sliced through another M9 and, kicking the destroyed shell away, Gauron turned to see the Arbalest charging toward him like a bullet train.

Spinning the sword around in its metal hand once, the Trebuchet met the Arbalest and there was a great clash of blade against blade. Sparks flew up as both pilots pushed against one another with all their might.

"I was wondering when you would arrive, Kashim!" Gauron laughed. "You don't know how happy this make me!"

The Trebuchet kicked the Arbalest, knocking it back and delivered an overhead strike. Sousuke caught and parried the attack and counterattacked, stabbing his knife towards the heart of the offending Arm Slave.

Gauron dodged and started laughing again.

"Your skill have improved, Kashim!"

"My name isn't Kashim!" Sousuke yelled.

"Sagara…. Is it then?" asked Gauron, mocking him.

"Yes! My name is Sagara!"

The Trebuchet came at him against and Sousuke fended off the unrelenting attacks as best he could. Neither pilot could get a hit in on the other. As they came apart again, Gauron was, yet again, laughing.

"Do you find me sadistic, Kashim?" he asked. "You shouldn't. You know who I am and you know who you are. Admit it… Right now, you feel more alive than you have in six months!"

"Go. To. Hell!" Sousuke screamed and the two Arm Slaves crashed into one another, slashing and grappling. The Arbalest clawed at the Trebuchet like a wild animal and, Gauron, unable to cut anything, smashed the side of his fist into Soueuke's AS.

"What are you even fighting for, Kashim? Come join us and you'll be happier than you've ever been. Are you fighting for the Whispered, Kashim?"

The Arbalest drove its dagger into the Trebuchet's shoulder but Gauron continued.

"You know, they're the saviors of the world. Humanity is flawed, in and of itself. No other species can organize itself to willfully wipe out itself like we do. No other species enjoys its descent into destruction like we do."

The two Arm Slaves broke apart again. The Trebuchet's left shoulder was slashed and the inner circuitry was exposed and crackling. The Arbalest's head looked strangely like a pug dog's.

"It's human nature to have a savior. A messiah. Someone who comes down and sets everything right. You'd like one right about now, wouldn't you, Kashim? But, the truth is, they don't exist. It's all a psychological illusion. Freudian, even.

"But what about the Whispered? That girl you love and the captain and even the one I keep around. Who will save the savior?"

The Trebuchet boosted up and away. Taken by surprise, Sousuke was quick to pursue. They flew through the pitched battle, dodging shots from friend and foe alike. Hellfire burst all around the two.

"That's you, Kashim! That's your reason for being born into this world. To save the Whispered. 'Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children.'"

"What the hell are you babbling about?!" Sousuke demanded and lunged at Gauron. The Trebuchet sidestepped the attack easily and they were at it once again. Their duel continued for another few moments, each attack catching the glint of the sun in the steel, making it look as though the two Arm Slaves were gods, fighting with divine weapons made of a brilliant light.

"This is your destiny, Kashim. To die to save the Whispered and bring forth a new day in the history of this planet. Can you feel the change around us? Something great will happen and it is because of us," Gauron yelled. He took another swipe at the Arbalest and this time, it went through, opening up a long gash on the side of the metal warrior.

"This is it, Kashim," Gauron continued. "What we do on this day will be remembered for generations into the new era. This is the 'New Century Gospel', Kashim. And you're our Messiah."

"You…" Sousuke muttered. The Arbalest was slowing down. He realized suddenly, in pure horror, that he had less than five minutes left of fuel.

"Are you crazy?!" Sousuke yelled finally, attacking once again, ignoring his rapidly dropping fuel guage. "Or just stupid?!"

This time, Gauron parried Sousuke's lunge and brought his sword down, slicing through the Arbalest's arm. In a second, it dropped away, taking Sousuke's only weapon with it.

"You disappoint me, Kashim," Gauron whispered and raised the blade once more, ready to deliver the killing blow.

"SOUSUKE!"

The scream echoed through the battlefield, jarring everyone who heard it, Gauron included.

"That girl…" he hissed when he saw Kaname's M9 coming at them, spraying gunfire.

"Sousuke! Get the hell out of here!" Kaname yelled again. She was firing pretty haphazardly but some of her shells actually hit the Trebuchet, who's pilot was too surprised to move.

"Chidori!"

"Sousuke, just go! I'll hold him off!"

"No, you can't! This isn't-"

"Shut up and go!"

Hearing this, Gauron grinned. "Take her advice, Kashim," he whispered as he took off towards the M9, sword drawn. There was a blinding flash of light as Gauron initiated his Lambda Driver system.

"Chidori!" Sousuke screamed, as loud as he could. "Dodge it!"

"Sousuke!"

It was all over in a second. The shining form of the Trebuchet collided with the M9. Its katana passed cleanly through the AS, slicing it in half perfectly.

And that was it. Sousuke stared, unbelieving, as the M9 stayed still in the air, suspended as if by wires, for the briefest of moments before exploding.

Just like that, Kaname was gone.

"Chidori…" he whispered. The name sounded alien to him now, like something he had never heard before. "Chidori…"

Then, he heard the chuckling. The low, mocking laugh of Gauron.

"Looks like you couldn't even protect the girl you love. What a pathetic Messiah… Why don't you just surrender now, Kashim?"

Sousuke was silent. His head was bent and his eyes were wide open, but unseeing. There was no feeling in his body. Only a distant numbness.

"Poor Kashim… You truly are your father's son. When it comes to the important things, you fail."

Slowly, Sousuke raised his head. "Al. Start it up."

"Understood," replied the computer and the Arbalest took on an unearthly glow of its own.

"Oh? Still have some fight left in you, Kashim?"

"Gauron…" Sousuke said softly, slowly. "I… I have not yet begun to fight!"

Like a corpse reanimated, the Arbalest came alive again and hurtled towards the Trebuchet. The two smashed into each other and the attacker wasted no time, knocking a haymaker into the face of its enemy.

"What the hell?" Gauron yelled, as he went flying back. He attempted to attack with his sword but the Arbalest caught it and, as though it were a toothpick, snapped it in half. Taking the broken half in its hand, the crazed AS drove it into the Trebuchet and continued punching and kicking it.

"Shit…" Gauron cursed. He was totally helpless. He could only watch as blow after blow leveled his armor.

In the Arbalest, Sousuke had just about lost it. The vision of Kaname's M9 replayed over and over in his mind and all he could think about was revenge. With the elbow of its one good arm, the Arbalest smashed open the faceplate of the Trebuchet, sending circuits and sparks everywhere.

Then, a hideously annoying beeping sound cut through Sousuke's reverie of violence and retribution. He glanced at the fuel gauge. It was on E. Not E for "enough," or "excellent" but E for "empty, oh shit."

Slowly, the Arbalest fell away from the Trebuchet. Gauron didn't try to pursue and instead, watched solemnly as the AS plunged through the air, gaining speed. It disappeared from sight finally.

"Wolfram," he said in his radio, pulling up the image of the Sandalphon's captain on his screen. "We should withdraw now. There's been a change in plans."

"Captain, the Sandalphon and its forces are retreating. Should we pursue?"

Tessa wasn't listening. Instead, her attention was focused on the screen before her that showed the status of all units in the battle. If the square representing a unit was green, it was fine. If it was red, it was in trouble. If it was black, it had been destroyed.

The squares representing Kaname's M9 and the Arbalest were both black.

"No," she said finally. "Don't pursue. We'll withdraw as well."

Tessa did not sob. She didn't double over and weep. Instead, she trembled in her seat and held her hands together tightly.

Wolfram and Gauron both stood outside the infirmary room where their captive lay. It had been a risky maneuver for Gauron: He had used his Lambda Driver to pry open the cockpit and snatch Kaname out before destroying the M9. He was of the belief that she would be more useful to them alive than dead and Wolfram quite agreed. After all, that had been their original goal, hadn't it?

"And you're quite certain the Arbalest was destroyed?" Wolfram queried again. Gauron just smiled.

"It fell. That's all I can say."

Wolfram sighed. "Nothing could survive a fall from this height… Right. This battle is almost over."

"No."

"No?" Wolfram asked, looking at Gauron, confused.

"This is only the end of the first act," he smiled. "We've yet to see the grand finale."

"Regardless," Wolfram said, brushing off Gauron's comment. "Sagara's out of the picture. Things should be easier now."

"Do you think he knew?"

"Knew what?"

"About the girl," Gauron said, gesturing to the door of the hospital room. "That she's pregnant."

End Chapter Eight

Author's Notes:

The ending is vaguely like Kill Bill. No surprises there.

Tessa's "You can't fight in here! This is the war room!" comment was lifted directly from Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. Will there be more parallels to this classic film in the coming chapters?! Will Kurz ride an atom bomb like a cowboy?! Stay tuned.

As always, comments are greatly appreciated.

On a completely and absolutely unrelated note, North Korea has just banned cellphones. My question: They actually HAD cellphones? I mean, shit, I thought they were still getting the hole "indoor plumbing" thing down.


	9. Chapter Nine: The Heaviest of Things

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Panic. This is a parody.  
  
Chapter Nine: The Heaviest of Things  
  
Kyosuke pulled up in front of the convenience store.  
"I'm thirsty," he said. Waiving the revolver and thumbing the hammer back, he grinned as his friend. "Whaddya' say we score some booze and whatever the fuck's in the register?"  
"Fuck yeah, bro," Shiro said, tucking his cheap, Chinese made pistol into the waistband of his pants. The two punks got out of the stolen car, leaving the small, stolen fortune in the back seat and started into the store.  
They had no idea that their pretty crime spree, which had begun in Sapporo three days earlier, was about to come to a very abrupt halt.  
  
Life. The state of having functioning metabolic processes.  
Was that the true definition of life? Could one be alive without really being 'alive'?  
It was a queer question but, then again, Sousuke had a lot of time to think about queer questions.  
The Arbalest had gone down in the Pacific Ocean, about three hundred kilometers off the coast of Okinawa. BlitzCorps, being loath to lose an expensive piece of equipment, wasted no time in recovering it, Sousuke and all.  
While the Arbalest was being repaired and drained of water, Sousuke was sent to a small Catholic hospital, Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow, in Hokkaido that had a bit of a reputation for keeping quiet about things. It was just outside a small, boring little suburb of Sapporo so there was little chance of anything happening. There were quite a few teenagers around, however, that Sousuke could see from his hospital window. This was due to the extremely prestigious Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow junior high and high school, situated less than a block from the hospital.  
After blacking out from the crash, Sousuke woke up in his hospital room. It was raining and he had lain there, in his bed, listening to the tap-tap-tap on his windows. He had wondered if he was dead. If that was so, it really wasn't as bad as everyone said it was.  
And, he had thought to himself, if he was dead, was he in Heaven or Hell? Probably not Heaven because, if he was there, it was extremely overrated. And if he were in Hell, it wasn't nearly as horrible as the religions of the world made it seem. Sure, it was boring and the rain was loud but that was tolerable.  
Eventually, it dawned on Sousuke that he wasn't physically dead and just in a hospital. A pretty young nurse came in and made small talk with him while she took his blood pressure and changed his IV. He ignored her and kept staring at the dark, gray October sky.  
When she left, he was alone again.  
It was a peculiar feeling. A trait of Sousuke's, and one that he valued highly, was his ability to think objectively in almost any situation. He carefully analyzed his current condition and came to the conclusion that he was more or less okay.  
There was, however, one problem. He just didn't care.  
Sousuke honestly didn't care whether he was alive or dead. He didn't care if the pretty young nurse talked to him sweetly, nor did he care about the rain outside. He just didn't give a damn. He might as well have been dead.  
But he wasn't. At least, his body was alive.  
Around noon, the same nurse brought him a tray of food and urged him to eat. Sousuke had nothing better to do so he complied and ate the sandwich provided and sipped at the cream of broccoli soup.  
After that, the nurse disconnected his IV tube and said that he was free to walk around, as long as he didn't go too far. Once she had left, Sousuke stood, stretched, did some jumping jacks and left his room to wander the halls of the hospital.  
It was like most of the other hospitals he had been in. Painfully clean and sparkling white, with that strange, dreadful smell that followed you wherever you went.  
It was the smell of death. Not just death but of a struggle in vain against death. The smell of those who hope and pray that the science of human hands can deliver them from the clutches of heaven or hell.  
It wasn't exactly the kind of atmosphere Sousuke wanted so he went to the recreation center. That wasn't much better. It was pretty empty, save for a few individuals playing pool and three watching the news on TV.  
Most of the men playing pool were bald and their faces had a gaunt, sunken in look, like a skeleton's. Immediately, Sousuke assumed they were cancer patients but you wouldn't know it from the friendly, Kansai dialect ridden banter of their game.  
One of the people watching the TV was a young girl, who sat, perched delicately in a wheel chair because she had no legs. Not far from her sat an older woman, her elbow attached to an IV, staring dully at the news program. Her eyes were more like inanimate marbles than anything else and the only thing that gave proof to her living was the slow, gargled breathing. And in a chair next to her sat a clean cut, good lucking young man. At first glance. When Sousuke looked him over a second time, he noticed a slight fidgeting and trembling. He had bags under his eyes and his arms were scarred.  
On the TV, the news anchor was talking about the stand off at Jindai High, which had concluded only four days earlier. The government had managed to cover things up pretty well: They blamed it on al-Qaeda.  
Still, he kept watching, in hopes that they would show an interview with someone he knew. There was no such luck but the report stated that there were no casualties except for one teacher (who, they said, had bravely sacrificed himself to protect his students), although three students, two teachers and the school nurse were missing, presumed kidnapped.  
It was obvious that the hostage situation was the only real news in the country and that the stations were getting desperate to prolong it. They had started by calling in experts on terrorism and, when they ran out of those, they called in military experts. And when those ran dry, they started showing interviews with authors who had written novels about the military.  
They were just finishing up a piece with Gatoh Shouji when Sousuke left, in digust.  
  
The nine-millimeter service pistol in Tessa's hand was wet. She had spent the night, doubled over, drunk on her sorrows and a bottle of whiskey she had swiped from the quarters of one of the men she had lost. She had known him personally and he wouldn't mind if she drowned her tears with his bottle.  
Her room smelled like sweat and liquor. She had stripped down to her underwear and gave into the sadness that had overwhelmed, screaming and sobbing, gnashing her teeth and smashing up her room. In between her bouts of sanity and destruction, she had taken great swigs from the bottle and this had only made things worse.  
Now, she lay, half-naked, covered in sweat, tears and Jameson's Irish Whiskey, cradling her Sig against her stomach. Tessa was not having a good day.  
It wasn't just the fact that Sousuke and Kaname were dead, nor was it the fact that she had lost more than half of her attacking force. Something deeper was bothering her.  
At the beginning of the battle, Tessa had, in her hands, the power to end the fight right then and there. The Excalibur, like the Sandalphon, was armed with an experimental high-powered cannon, code named "Jabberwocky." It was more than capable of knocking a large, inconvenient hole in the middle of any offending battleships, radioactive monsters or continents.  
For whatever reason, the Sandalphon hadn't armed its own and the Excalibur could very easily have used the Jabberwocky to finish the battle. Tessa was very much aware of this fact yet she hadn't given the order.  
Of course, if she had, the attacking forces almost certainly would've been wiped out along with the Sandalphon. They were required to hold the other ship at bay. If they hadn't been there, the Sandalphon could've focused the full attention of its fire on the Excalibur and torn it asunder.  
Now, normally, Tessa would've been willing to make that sacrifice. She may have been a sensitive, seventeen year old girl prone to crying but she was a sensitive, seventeen year old girl prone to crying who had taken on terrorists without blinking an eye and who had personally given the orders to blow up Rome.  
In other words, she was prepared to make certain sacrifices. But only certain ones.  
Those did not, however, include sacrificing Sousuke or Kaname, for that matter.  
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Tessa had violated the number one rule of military command: She had allowed her personal feelings to get in the way of battle and, as a result, not only had she been defeated, she had lost what she had sought to protect.  
And that was why she drank herself silly, collapsed on her bed and was seriously considering implanting a small piece of lead in her own skull.  
Suicide was a coward's way out, true, but Tessa was feeling a lot like a coward at that moment. Her fear of losing Sousuke and Kaname had not only caused her to lose them but the battle as well. An end to the pain was the most attractive option.  
There was a dull dread and fear in her gut. The fact was, life without either of the two didn't seem worth living. The two people she loved most were gone and there was nothing she could do about it.  
Grasping blindly for the bottle, Tessa brought it up to her lips and emptied the last few drops into her mouth. In the last twelve hours, she had ingested more alcohol than she had in her entire life. She wanted to throw up.  
There was, at that moment, a knock at the door. Groaning, Tessa hurled the bottle at the wall. It shattered.  
"C'min..." she gurgled, finding it different to speak coherently.  
The door opened and Kurz and Melissa walked in cautiously, having just heard the bottle. Kurz had some stitches along the side of his head, the result of getting slammed around in his cockpit a bit too much and Melissa had a large, angry looking bruise by her eye but, otherwise, both were looking fine.  
"Hey, Tessa," she began. "How're you holding up?"  
"Just peachy," she growled back. Tessa turned her head, hocked back and spat out a large, disgusting wad of phlegm mixed with whiskey. "How do you think I'm holding up?" she muttered, this time more clearly.  
"Um, well, we came to see if you need anything," Kurz said.  
"Whiskey," Tessa answered, looking them straight in the eye.  
"Um, no," Kurz said.  
"Gin."  
"Nope."  
"Vodka."  
"Would if I could."  
"Beer?"  
"You'll be an alcoholic by the time you're old enough to drink," Melissa muttered.  
"Shut up. I'm not going to live that long," she muttered, waving the pistol a bit.  
"Tessa, give me the gun," Kurz said, holding out his hand.  
"No," the captain whimpered, cradling it to her chest.  
"Tessa, give us the gun. Do it." Melissa said, advancing on her.  
"No..." she whined. Melissa leapt on the bed, pinning the girl. In her drunken and dazed state, Tessa was no match for the Sergeant Major and in a matter of moments, she had her arm, twisted behind her back. She dropped the gun into Kurz's waiting hand.  
"Just go away..." Tessa said pathetically, totally defeated.  
"Not until you take a shower, put some clothes on and command your ship!" Melissa yelled. She was sitting, straddled on top of Tessa, who was curled up, her arms over her head. Had it been any other time and place, Kurz would've been in heaven.  
"It doesn't matter anymore..."  
"Yes, it does! We're still relying on you to get us out of this mess!"  
"I can't!" screamed Tessa. She flung herself over, throwing Melissa off in a surprising display of strength. "I can't! Can't you see that? I can't do anything anymore!"  
Melissa tumbled to the floor but recovered quickly. She glared at Tessa and nodded.  
"Fine. I get it." She turned to Kurz. "Go tell Kalinin and Mardukas that they have command now. The Captain is just a sorry, spoiled little kid, too busy wallowing in her own-"  
"Shut up!" Tessa yelled, flinging herself at Melissa. The two fell to the floor and rolled around, scuffling for a few seconds before the sergeant came out on top, pinning Tessa again.  
"Look at you," Melissa said, her voice full of contempt. "What would Sousuke say if he saw you like this?"  
"Sousuke..." Tessa whispered. Suddenly, she burst into tears.  
"Umm... Sis... Maybe we should lay off..."  
"No," Melissa said breathlessly as she stared down at Tessa. "What would Sousuke think if he saw his Captain like this? Tell me, damn it!"  
Tessa didn't answer. The sobs racked her body and she gasped for air in between them.  
"He'd be disgusted. Do you know why? Sousuke was a pro. He was more of a pro than any of us. They say that pros don't take things personally but that's not true. Sousuke took everything personally but he knew how to control himself and that's what made him great. If he were in your position, he wouldn't cry or drink or even stop for a moment. He'd wipe the blood off his face, slap another magazine into his gun and say 'Let's go.' So, if you're going to whine and sob and act like a little kid, get the hell off this ship because I don't want you anywhere near the place where he served. Do you understand me?"  
Nobody said anything for several moments. The clock on the wall ticked obnoxiously for almost a minute in the silence.  
"Get off me," Tessa said finally, wiping her face with the back of her hand. When Melissa didn't move, she said, "That was an order, Sergeant Major."  
Smiling, Melissa complied and helped Tessa to her feet.  
"My gun," she said simply, looking at Kurz. When he didn't move, she growled, "Give me my gun back, Sergeant Kurz." He did so.  
Running a hand through her hair, getting out the snags, Tessa took a deep breath.  
"I'm going to take a shower and dress. I'm going to call a meeting of the entire crew on the bridge of the ship in two hours."  
"There's something you should know," Kurz said quickly.  
"Hm?"  
"We've got reinforcements coming," Melissa said, grinning. "That's what we came to tell you. The US Navy is sending a fleet and so are the Soviet Union and the Royal Navy. All in all, we'll have more than thirty ships."  
Tessa swallowed.  
"Are you serious?"  
Melissa nodded.  
Tessa took a few deep breaths and then nodded back.  
"Right. I'd like to address the crews of the fleets as well."  
Melissa nodded, smiling. "Understood, Captain."  
  
Sousuke was sitting up in his room, watching TV. He had finally gotten sick watching coverage of the aftermath of the hostage situation so, instead, he watched the cable channels that the hospital provided.  
He was just about to turn to a channel specializing in Osaka-style comedy routines when the door opened and in walked Sagara Yamato.  
"Err... Good afternoon," the old man said uncomfortably. Sousuke did not answer.  
"How are you doing, Sousuke?" he said, taking a seat next to his bed. Still, Sousuke said nothing.  
There were several moments of silence, as they both listened to the skits on TV. They were slightly reminiscent of American Three Stooges productions.  
"Is it heavy, my son?" Yamato said suddenly, in Arabic. Sousuke looked up, surprised. It took him a few moments for him to comprehend what was said because he was used to the more guttural and slang ridden Egyptian and Levantine dialects.  
"It is the heaviest of things," Sousuke replied. Inwardly, he smiled to himself: By talking in a different language, they could somehow distance themselves from that hospital room. They could be different people.  
"I see," Yamato sighed heavily.  
"You did not kill him," Sousuke noted. "Gauron."  
"I wounded him but he escaped."  
"I see."  
"And the girl? What happened to her?" Yamato asked, as if he didn't know.  
Instead of answering, Sousuke stood and made for the door.  
"Where are you going?" his father asked.  
"Out."  
Yamato said nothing and watched his son leave.  
"Go with God," he muttered, the traditional goodbye tasting bitter on his tongue.  
  
Sousuke left the hospital and quickly realized that his hospital gown would not do. He wasn't exactly sure why the people at the front desk hadn't said anything when he left but he wasn't about to complain. No, his main task at hand was to get some acceptable clothes for going about town.  
A block away from the hospital, Sousuke found a bank and, upon closer inspection, he realized they were affiliated with Deutsche Bank. From there, he didn't have much trouble taking out five-hundred dollars American from his personal account and getting it changed into Yen. The people at the bank looked at him a bit strangely but said nothing.  
Money in hand, Sousuke went to the nearest clothing store and purchased a good pair of jeans, an undershirt and a sweater. Again, the people looked at him a strangely, especially when, after purchasing his clothes, he went back into the dressing room and put them on, after which he threw out his hospital gown.  
Now, dressed for success, Sousuke walked back to the hospital. He had no intention of going back to his room. Rather, he had had his eye on a small café across the street. Now, with nice wad of cash in his pocket, he was ready to see what they had to offer.  
Going in, he sat bought a cup of coffee, a bagel and a copy of the Mainichi Daily News. Predictably enough, it was filled with articles about the hostage incident but, with a bit of digging, Sousuke found the sports page and read up on the results of the latest sumo tournament.  
He hadn't been there fifteen minutes when a small group of chatty teens came in. Sousuke assumed they were from the high school and a quick glance told him that they were at least as old as he was.  
Going back to his paper, Sousuke ignored them until a girl's whine cut through the unceasing talking.  
"Oh... Damn, I left my purse at home. Damn it..." the girl said, digging through her pockets for money. She was short, with hair cropped short and close, like a little kid.  
"Miyu-chan, you're always forgetting things... I swear..." another, taller girl said. Her hair was even shorter and except for her very feminine chest and hips, she might have been able to pass for a young boy. "Well, I'm not paying for you this time. My dad gets mad when I pay for other people, you know that."  
"Pleeeeeease," Miyu begged. "Just enough for some coffee, Sakura- san?"  
"No. I'm cutting you off, here and now," Sakura said.  
"Geeze, she can be cold..." a boy behind them said. The other boy and girl with them laughed.  
"Excuse me," Sousuke said, addressing the cashier more than the group themselves. "I'll pay for her coffee."  
The cashier shrugged. "Whatever."  
"You really shouldn't," Sakura said quickly. "She'll never learn if-"  
Sousuke pulled out the wad of cash and counted out the necessary bills to pay for not only Miyu's coffee but everyone else's orders.  
"Woah..." one of the boys whispered. "He's loaded. Do you think he's a bank robber?"  
"I dunno... I've never seen him around here before so maybe..."  
Sakura elbowed both of them in the gut and pushed Miyu forward.  
"Be polite," she said. Miyu nodded quickly and bowed respectfully.  
"Thank you very much... err... I don't know your name but thank you. It's very nice to meet you... Uhh..."  
"Sagara," Sousuke said, inclining his head.  
"Sagara-san, thank you!"  
"Uh, yeah, thanks," Sakura echoed. She reached into her pocket. "How much do we owe you?"  
"It's on me," Sousuke said simply and went back to his seat. He cleaned his place, stuck his newspaper under his arm and started for the door.  
"Hey, wait!" Sakura said, running up to him. "We've got to pay you back somehow! It's rude to just walk off like that!"  
"Sorry."  
"I haven't seen you around. You're not a student at the school, are you?"  
Sousuke shook his head. "I am not."  
"No offense but we don't see too many new people around here. So why are you here? Are you a patient at the hospital?"  
Hesitantly, Sousuke nodded. "Yeah, something like that."  
"But you're out."  
"I'm not sick."  
"Then why were you at the hospital?"  
Sousuke was at a loss for words. He couldn't reveal the real reason, of course, but he didn't have a suitable lie.  
"I'm sorry but I can't tell you that."  
Sakura lowered her eyes.  
"You can't tell me or you don't want to tell me?"  
"Both."  
"I see."  
Thinking things were over and done with, Sousuke turned to leave again.  
"Hey!" Sakura yelled after him. "We're going to the arcade now. Do you want to come?"  
"Hm?" Sousuke glanced back at her.  
"Since you're new here, we could help get you acquainted with the town, you know?" Suddenly, her mood seemed to change. Putting her hands on her hips, she looked away. "But if you don't want to, I can't force you, of course."  
"No, I'd like that," Sousuke said. He tossed out his paper and the group left the café.  
  
"What do you think?" Miyu whispered excitedly to her friends. "Does Sakura like that Sagara-san?"  
"Didn't she just break up with Yoshiki?" someone said. "Maybe she's just on the rebound."  
"I dunno... Sagara, he's not bad looking. He looks pretty tough and he's really aloof. Sakura likes boys like that, doesn't she?" someone else said.  
The two people that the conversation concerned, Sousuke and Sakura, were pitting all their skills against one another in the most refined and respected form of combat known to man.  
Soul Calibur.  
"Gah... Damn, you're good..." Sakura muttered as Ivy danced across the screen, racking up hit after hit.  
"You're as good as Chidori..." Sousuke muttered back. The sudden thought of Kaname seized hold of something deep inside of him and, with a burst of digital strength, Mitsurugi brutally disemboweled Ivy.  
"Wow..." Sakura whispered. "I didn't see that coming..."  
"Hmm," Sousuke nodded, going through his pockets for more coins.  
"Hey, who's Chidori?"  
"Err... What?"  
"You said 'You're as good as Chidori'... Who am I as good as?" Sakura asked, leaning against one of the machines.  
"No... Just someone..."  
"C'mon, now I'm interested!" she said grinning. "That's a last name, right? So is it a boy or a girl?"  
"Girl."  
"Your girlfriend?" Sakura asked slyly, a Cheshire cat grin adorning her face.  
"Yes," Sousuke said simply and started towards the concession stand.  
"Err... Really?" Sakura asked, catching up with him. "Is she here too?"  
"No."  
"Then where is she? Does she know you're here?"  
"I don't know where she is... But I guess she doesn't know..."  
After ordering a Coke, Sakura continued grilling Sousuke.  
"It doesn't sound like you care much about her..." Sakura said carefully.  
"That's not true."  
"Then what's the problem? You don't know where she is and she doesn't know where you are and it doesn't seem like either of your cares. Did something happen?" Sakura asked, getting annoyed.  
Sousuke locked eyes with the girl.  
"She's dead."  
Slowly, Sakura covered her mouth with her hands.  
"O... Oh my god, I'm sorry, I didn't know, I'm so sorry..." she rambled. Sousuke shrugged and sipped his Coke.  
"It's all right. You didn't know."  
"Is that why you were at the hospital? Oh my god, I'm sorry..."  
"Yeah... Something like that."  
"When did it happen? Oh, sorry, I shouldn't ask that..."  
"What's today?"  
"Huh? The twenty-eighth."  
Sousuke leaned against the wall of the arcade. "Then it was three days ago."  
The two stood in silence amidst the noise and bleeping of the machines and the trash-talking coming from the kids playing them.  
"I thought I had problems... I just broke up with my boyfriend today because he's an asshole... But he's still alive so... I'm so sorry."  
"It's not your fault."  
"I know but..." Sakura seemed to be at a loss for words. Sousuke drank his soda without saying anything.  
"What did she have?" Sakura asked suddenly.  
"Hm?"  
"She was at the hospital right? Did she have cancer? Or was she in an accident? I shouldn't be asking but I'm curious..."  
"She wasn't at the hospital."  
"Then..." Sakura asked, confused.  
"She was murdered."  
  
Sakura stopped the line of questioning after that. When the group got bored at the arcade, they elected to go to a local convenience store to buy what teenagers the world over love: Beer and cigarettes. Normally, Sousuke would've been opposed to the idea but he didn't really care.  
Sakura and Sousuke avoided one another once getting there. She went with Miyu to look at cosmetics while he slunk off to read fishing magazines and look at the Arm Slave technical journals. The kids were the only ones in the store at that hour so it was pretty quiet.  
The night would've gone on rather unspectacularly had Kyosuke and Shiro not entered the store at that very moment.  
"Yo," Shiro said in reply to the cashier's greeting. He went up to the counter while Kyosuke disappeared into the store.  
"Yeah, see, me 'n ma' bro, we a bit lost, you follow? We from Osaka and dunno our way 'round here, youknowhum'sayin'?"  
The cashier nodded. He could hardly understand the Kansai dialect, let alone being spoken rapidly by some teenage punk but he was a polite man.  
"Yeah, so, here's out it's gonna' work, right?" Shiro pulled his pistol from his jeans and stuck it right in the man's face. "You gunna' put all da' in that there register on the counter right here, okay?"  
Meanwhile, Kyosuke had scoped out the store and taken inventory of everyone inside. He came back up to the counter and leapt up on it, next to the growing pile of money. Sticking his gun into the air, he fired a single shot.  
"Alright, you motherfuckers, this is a goddamned robbery! Get all yo' asses up here now or I'll fucking blow your heads off!"  
The store was small enough that Kyosuke had a good view point to see everyone in there. Several of the teen screamed and tried to hide but he fired again, this time into the floor.  
"Get the fuck up here and nobody'll get shot, ya' hear?"  
One by one, they appeared by the counter, standing in a tightly knit group. Sousuke, however, was not to be found.  
"Where's Sagara-san?" Sakura asked one of the boys. He shrugged.  
"He was with you last..."  
"Hey!" Kyosuke screamed. "No whisperin'!"  
"C'mon, bro..." Shiro muttered, watching the cashier finish up. "You ain't holding out on us, are ya'?"  
"I'm serious, this is all we got..."  
"Right... Now, gimme' yo' wallet..."  
Taking the hint, Kyosuke looked at his group.  
"Yeah, give us all yo' wallets and whatever cash you got on ya'."  
As they were emptying out their pockets, Sousuke came walking up to the counter, holding three magazines. He seemed totally relaxed and at ease with the world.  
"Sagara-san?" Sakura said when she saw him. In spite of their predicament, she yelled out, "Get out of here! Go for help!"  
"Shut up, bitch!" Kyosuke yelled. He jumped down from the counter and grabbed Sakura, jamming the gun into her jaw.  
"Yo, buddy," Shiro said calmly, regarding Sousuke. "Give us yo' cash."  
Sousuke placed his magazines on the counter and spoke to the cashier. "Could you ring these up for me, please?"  
"Hey, bro, you deaf or just stupid?" Shiro said, waiving his gun in Sousuke's face.  
"I'm not having a very good week," Sousuke said slowly, turning to face Shiro. "My life has been upset greatly and very recently, I lost someone very close to me."  
"Awww... Cry me a fucking river and gimme' yo' cash," Shiro cursed.  
"Normally," Sousuke continued, undeterred. "I would've maimed both of you by now but you've caught me in a bit of a transitional period. I'm beginning to think I've lost my taste for combat."  
"The hell you talkin' 'bout?"  
"So, I'm going to give you two a choice: You can give back the money and leave this store and live. Or I will take out all my anger and frustration from the past few days on you, right here and now. It's your choice."  
The two robbers stared at Sousuke for a second before breaking out laughing.  
"Look at this little punk! He thinks he some sorta' bad ass!" Kyosuke cackled.  
"'It's your choice.' What kinda' bullshit is that?"  
"Sagara-san..." Sakura whispered.  
"Hey, boy, this bitch, she's getting all sentimental 'bout you!" Kyosuke laughed, giving the girl a good jerk.  
Sousuke sighed, reaching into his pocket. "I warned you."  
"Yeah, you warned us, mother-"  
Sousuke drew a box cutter, which he had taken right off the shelf and, easy as you please, drove it into Shiro's stomach.  
The thug doubled over and Sousuke delivered a punch that knocked him over, onto the counter. Working quickly, he grabbed his wrist, broke several fingers and relieved Shiro of his gun. He checked that it was cocked and took aim on Kyosuke. He did this all in the space of three seconds.  
The punk was in a state of shock and awe. Suddenly, Sakura delivered an elbow to his gut. He two doubled over and, as she dashed away, Sousuke fired once, capping him in the shoulder.  
His body jerked back up and Sousuke fired again, hitting him in the thigh. His legs gave out and he fell to the ground next to his companion. The both groaned in mutual pain, almost in unison.  
"Call the police and an ambulance," Sousuke said, his composure not broken at all. He put the gun down on the counter and, after the call was made, the cashier rang up his purchases and he left.  
The group of students was left standing, stunned for a few seconds before they ran out after Sousuke.  
"That was incredible!" one boy said. "Where did you learn to do that?"  
"Are you a cop or something? A black belt? That was awesome!" Miyu bubbled.  
The praise continued until they got to a subway station. The group parted ways but Sakura stayed back for a minute.  
"You don't see that everyday," she said in admiration. "Thanks a lot. This is the second time today you've done something for me."  
Sousuke shook his head. "It's alright. I should've had more control."  
"Will they die?"  
"No. As long as they got to a hospital in time, they should be fine."  
"Won't the police want to question you?"  
"I doubt I'll be in this country long enough for them to find me," Sousuke said.  
Sakura narrowed her eyes.  
"I want to know the truth... Where did you learn to do that? Why are you here? Who killed Chidori?"  
Sousuke sighed heavily. He summarized for her the events of the past week and his involvement in the Rome incident six months ago.  
"And you're the only civilian who knows," he finished.  
Sakura stared at him.  
"Oh my god..."  
"I suppose that's one reaction," Sousuke said, shrugging.  
"I'm sorry but... It's so incredible." She shook her head. "You're... You're a hero, you know that, right? With the investigation into what happened in Rome..."  
"I don't exactly feel like a hero," he said.  
"What are you going to do now?"  
Sousuke didn't respond right away. He looked up at the night sky and sighed.  
"I'll go back, if I can. I don't want to fight again but it seems like I'm cursed to, at least until I kill Gauron. Honestly, I'm afraid to, without Chidori but that can't be helped."  
As the next train arrived, Sakura wrapped her arms around Sousuke.  
"Chidori was very lucky... I'm jealous..." she whispered in his ear before breaking the embrace.  
When she went to board, Sakura called back to Sousuke.  
"If you ever come back to Sapporo, look me up, okay? Do you promise?"  
Sousuke nodded. "I promise."  
"And..." Sakura bit her lip. "If you ever find Chidori out there, in heaven or hell or between... Bring her too. I'd like to meet her."  
Sousuke nodded. "Understood."  
  
When Sousuke returned to his hospital room, his father was still up, waiting for him.  
"Good evening," he said, looking up from his magazine.  
"Father," Sousuke said, speaking in Arabic again. "I want to go back to the battle."  
Yamato raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" He noticed the blood on Sousuke's clothes but he said nothing.  
"Yes. Can you arrange it?"  
"Of course."  
"Thank you."  
"My son, the heaviest of things..." Yamato said slowly. "Is it any lighter?"  
"In some ways, it is. In others, it is heavier. It is, however, a burden that I can bear. There are still people I want to protect."  
  
Tessa stood on board the flight deck of the USS Providence, one of the three carriers the US Navy had brought, the other two being the Freedom and the Justice. Because it would be impossible to get the crews of the entire international fleet in one spot, she was being broadcast via a wireless closed circuit connection to everyone else in the battle group. Almost the entirety of the crew of the Providence were assembled before her, with strong contingents from each ship in the entire fleet with them.  
Stepping up to the podium, she began to speak. In the space of a few hours, she had cleaned herself up remarkably well and had shaken off her hangover completely.  
"On October 25th, 1415, the English armies under the command of Henry V won a great victory against French forces at Agincourt."  
Tessa gave a curt nod to a group of British sailors, who smiled smugly.  
"On October 25th of this year, my battleship engaged the Sandalphon. However, this time, the battle ended in a stalemate. This is my fault and my fault alone. The men and women under my command performed their duties admirably and with a courage and sense of duty I have never seen before. An old quotation from the Second World War describes those under my command at this most recent battle: It was a time and place where uncommon valor was a common virtue.  
"However, now, we are readying ourselves for another great struggle with the Sandalphon. It is a formidable foe, yes, but not an invincible one and I hope you all realize this: This is a battle we shall win. I know this already because I know that you all share the uncommon valor of my men. With this courage and heroism prevalent in our ranks, the Sandalphon does not stand a chance.  
"This will not be an easy battle, though. Many of you will lose your lives. I would willingly die if it would mean our victory but things are never that simple. It is only with the sacrifices of many shall we gain victory.  
"But I say to you, it is for a pure and great reason that you would lay down your life. The enemy we face is enemy to civilized people the world over. Be they American or Soviet, Communist or Capitalist, White or Black, Catholic or Protestant, this is an enemy that does not discriminate. This is an enemy that seeks to subjugate and control and oppress the people of this civilized world in which we live. I cannot, in good faith, sit idly by as my friends and family suffer under their boot and because you all are here with me, I know you feel the same. This is a powerful enemy we face and, if that power grows unchecked, it shall consume the world until there is nothing left.  
"To tell you the truth, right now, I feel overwhelmed by pride. I am proud to be here, serving amongst you. Because, you see, what we do on this day shall be remembered for all of history. They may forget our names but they will never forget what we did on this day. They will never forget how we stood up and fought for our families, for our friends, for ourselves."  
Tessa licked her lips.  
"And if you survive this battle, you will go back to your homes, to your jobs and to your businesses. And people will say 'Look, he fought the Sandalphon!' And every year, on the anniversary of this day, you will toast yourself and your comrades and your brothers and sisters for, indeed, today, we are all bound by the blood we will shed.  
"And on the yearly holiday, commemorating this day, you will tell your children of the battle you fought and won today and of the brave warriors who so gladly sacrificed themselves for the future. For our future.  
"This day shall be remembered, in history books and in literature and our battle too will be remembered! My friends, my brothers, my sisters, we shall become immortal on this day because, hundreds of years in the future, those who owe their freedom to us will look back and say, 'Truly, they were heroes.'  
"This will be a difficult battle, one filled with bitterness and suffering. I ask you now, let that bitterness forge your will like steel. It is in this way that we will triumph. Only when we, as the protectors of human freedom, go forth, without fear, can we be victorious.  
"So, I ask you all, rid yourselves of fear because there is nothing to be afraid of. As Franklin D. Roosevelt said after the bombing of Pearl Harbor, we have nothing to fear but fear itself. I tell you now, I am not afraid! I know our victory is forthcoming! And I am proud to serve with you all! I am proud to stand tall with all of you, for it is we who shall bring forth the future and it is we who shall see a great victory on this day!  
"Remember this day and what you do, my brothers and sisters. For it is our pride and our pride alone to say, once all is said and done, 'We served and we fought on the day and it was on that day... that we saw victory!'"  
The assembled forces burst into cheers and applause. Tessa bowed, saluted and made her way off the makeshift stage. The massive din of the applause continued for several minutes after the speech.  
  
Somewhere onboard the Sandalphon, Kaname lay awake. She was naked and sweat caked on her body. The thin sheet over her was soaked through and she stared up at the ceiling blankly.  
"Are you frightened?" a voice asked her.  
"Yes..." Kaname whispered, in a moment of clarity.  
"Good..." cooed the voice and all was dark again.  
  
End of Chapter Nine  
  
Author's Notes: Wow. This was long.  
  
This chapter takes many cues not only from Pulp Fiction but from Shakespeare's Henry V. I'd like to apologize for the extensive use of profanity, which may not constitute a PG-13 rating but, frankly, shit happens. Heheh.  
  
On a completely unrelated note, I've been reading and watching Tenjou Tenge. That's easily one of the coolest pieces of anime/manga I've even seen. It's got an incredibly deep plot, bloody violence and enough sex to outdo those softcore Cable movies. It's really superb and the opening to the anime includes a girl doing the Charleston. How often do you see THAT in anime, huh?  
  
Also, I've been watching Samurai Champloo, which is even better. It comes from the same guys who brought us Cowboy Bebop so you know it'll be good. The first three episodes are both action packed and hilarious. Plus, the music is great.  
  
That's about it. The next chapter will be the last so thanks for reading in advance. I'd like to apologize for my constant misuse of words that sound alike but are spelled differently. I plan this stuff out in my head beforehand so it doesn't always copy down well.  
  
One more thing: I don't know if there actually is an "Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow" but anyone who went to a Catholic school should get a chuckle out of that. 


End file.
